The Work Shift
by Mr.Parodious
Summary: Rigby's just a weird little guy. Nothing else, nothing more. He's just "being Rigby" and there's nothing on earth, NO ONE on Earth, can change that. Not even himself. Ch. 6 is up.  MordoXRiggs, Contains OC. "Rewrite" of A.T.D.T.D.N.N
1. The Usual Morning

**Geez... how long has it been since I sat down and just... wrote. I've been having the summer of my life, but I'm seriously glad to be back in my studies. Life is good for me. ;3 Well, during summer break, I made plenty a revisions to some of my stories. I also made some character changes to my OC, and the visual changes would be uploaded later on my deviantART. Right now though, I re-read my story, "A Terrible Day that Deserves No Name." And... it's terrible. Half of the time, it was written while I was half asleep, and it just felt all jumbled and spontaneous to me. Not to mention melodramatic... -_-. So consider this a "re-write" of sorts. Hopefully, I'll be able to introduce my OC this time around. Well anyways, enjoy. **

It rose.

A golden globe rose into the pitch black sky.

The sky became many shades of colors. Blues, oranges, reds, pinks, and so forth.

...

It was dawn.

It was dawn like any other day.

The sun raised up near the horizon of perspective, as it's rays shone down and gave everything color.

...

It was morning.

It was morning in a small town. A town like any other. There were people that lived in the town. Many kinds of people. People who were either working, engaging in leisure activities, and so forth. It was as if, people lived in bubbles. Bubbles that could connect with each other at some times. But most of the time, they existed separately. It wasn't like people didn't notice each other. They just never thought of each other. They just never... KNEW each other. But, that's life. Many people say they meet others by accident, many others say that it was fate. Whatever it is, people meet. Even on a morning, as normal as this one.

...

...

It's late...

...

Oh god, it's late...

...

...

"Rigby! Dude, wake up we're late!"

A blue jay shouted as he nudged a sleeping raccoon, hoping he would wake up. The raccoon snored loudly, but after a couple of nudges, the raccoon eventually woke up. Tired, he rubbed his eyes as he rose from his trampoline... bed. He yawned loudly, and then scratched his back until he finally stood on his two feet. Errr... paws.

Rigby opened his eyes, as he saw his friend, Mordecai, who seemed a bit nervous about something. It looked like he was biting his lips...err beak. What could he possibly been worried about?

"Dude, what?" Rigby said, as he yawned once more. What could Mordecai be possibly so worked up for? Was he going on a date or something? Were they going to a party? Did he want to buy a video game they were saving up for? Seriously, what was he so worked up for...?

"C'mon, dude. We were suppose to go mow the lawn with Benson right now!" Mordecai blurted.

...Oh.

...

Oh, that's right! It was their turn to mow the lawn this week.

...

Well, no use stressing out about it. Rigby stretched out a bit more, as he grabbed a conveniently placed soda from his trampoline-bedside. He opened the can, and began guzzling it down like the glutton he was. Man, did it taste great. Nothing beats a room-temp soda to wake you up in the morning. As he finished his soda, Rigby noticed that Mordecai's face went from his natural blue color, to a cherry red color. Man, he looked like he was gonna blow steam out of his ears.

"Sooo...hey, after we finish mowing, wanna go down to the coffee shop or somethi-"

Before Rigby could finish his invitation, Mordecai grabbed the raccoon by the arm, and began rushing out of their room, and down the stairs. Rigby was literally being carried like a football, as Mordecai carelessly ran through the stairs. Rigby forgot how small he really was. No wonder nobody ever takes him seriously. Maybe if he started wearing tall shoes...

But before Rigby finished his musings, Mordecai started running outside and down the house steps. However, since he was in such a rush, Mordecai didn't notice a hole in the planks where he stepped on and fell down said steps. Rigby went falling after, as the soda he held in his hand went flying out. Rigby soon fell flat on his stomach, as he and Mordecai felt the staggering pain building up on the areas they fell on.

...

...Oww...

...

Hey, where'd that soda go?

...

CLANK.

A clanking sound came from somewhere. It sounded like a metal can hitting something made out of... glass...

...

...oh crap.

Rigby looked up, as he saw Benson, his gumball machine boss, crossing his arms with a clipboard in hand, while a soda can dripped its contents on his head. Man, he looked pissed. Mordecai saw Benson, as he instantly stood up, hoping he wasn't too mad.

"Benson, heh heh... ummm... ready to mow the lawn, dude?" Mordecai stammered. A nervous, toothy smile was on his face, while Benson continued to glare at him.

"I was ready two hours ago." Benson grumbled, as his face began to glow physically red. You could hear the gumballs rattling in his head, as he grinded his teeth while giving Mordecai that awful glare. Was he always like this? Well, whatever... Rigby just decided to stand up and try to alleviate the situation.

"Hey Benson, I didn't know you could drink soda like that." Rigby jokingly stated, throwing a half-assed chuckle while he was at it.

Benson then looked down at the raccoon, and smacked him down on the head with his clipboard. Rigby then fell down on his rear, as he felt a massive, swelling pain form on his head.

...

Owww...

"Next time, don't let your drinks hit me on my face, UNDERSTAND?" Benson shouted, as his face grew dark red. Now his gumballs bounced more frantically, as it sounded more like a rattle than anything else.

Heh heh, a Benson rattle...

After a couple of deep breaths, Benson returned back to his normal, pink color. It looked like all he needed was to vent out anger, really. But did he have to hit Rigby so hard with that clipboard? Rigby could feel the swelling pain just go up more and more. It's like if an anvil hit him on the head. A rusty, old, spiky anvil, that probably left the world's largest bump on his raccoon head.

...

Or, he could just be exaggerating...

...

...nah.

Benson gave one more deep breath, as he started to glare at Mordecai some more. It looked like Mordecai was chuckling a bit after seeing his friend get smacked by his boss with a clipboard, and he also seemed to have relaxed a bit. It looks like both Mordecai and Benson calmed down.. Mission complete... I guess... owww... the pain just kept swelling on his forehead...

"Well, since you two seem to be fine with sleeping out on your chores, AND spilling soda on my head, I guess you wouldn't mind if I, oh I don't know, take your weekend off." Benson angrily threatened the duo, as he started to head towards the house. To Rigby, it seemed that Benson's threats seemed to be less and less threatening. Probably cause the guy gave them to him every day. And for every single little screw up, too.

" N..no need, Benson. We'll get started on the lawn right now. Right Rigby?" Mordecai stated, as he nudged the raccoon who was lying on the floor.

"Uhh... sure... I guess..." Rigby weakly said, as he rubbed his head, hoping the pain would go away. God, why won't it stop hurting...?

Benson just stared at the two, until he just sighed and said. "Fine. I'll go get the lawnmower. Just don't let this happen. AGAIN." It's funny how quiet Benson could be for one second, and how angry he can get the next. Maybe it's something genetic...

Well anyways, Benson told the two mow the northern section of the park. Apparently, there were complaints about tall grass causing people to trip. So now the blue jay and raccoon have to spend the afternoon cutting away at tall grass while the hot sun beamed on their heads. Fun. Benson said as punishment, the two were going to mow the lawn by themselves. He figured that this should be an "incentive" to get them to wake up earlier. The gumball machine then just walked away into the park. Probably to check up on the other employees. All three of them. Mordecai seemed to have cooled down as he removed fake sweat from his forehead as a sign of relief. He then turned around to Rigby, and helped him back up.

"Dude, do you ever get sick of it?" Mordecai asked. He had a genuinely happy smile on his face when he asked this. It seemed like he's back to his good old self...for now.

"Urgh...totally. Benson needs anger management classes. Badly." Rigby said in an irked tone. He knew Mordecai was talking about the constant insults and the occasional smacks on the head. The blue jay gets his fair share of insults, so it's obvious he just wants to complain about it for a bit with him. Mordecai started laughing though. Like if someone told him a really good joke.

"No dude." Mordecai started, as he finished up laughing "I mean acting so stupid all the time, man. Don't you ever get sick of it?"

...

"Dude, shut up." Rigby grumbled, both out of pain, and out of annoyance. "I'm not in the mood, man. My head's hurting so much now..." It probably wasn't as bad as Rigby makes it out, but the bump definitely hurt like "H". Mordecai started laughing again. The jerk...

"Dude, I'm pretty sure that bump doesn't hurt as much as you think. God, you can't take a punch." Mordecai said, as he continued laughing. He then stopped and walked up to Rigby, and the noogied the raccoon, much to Rigby's dismay. Like the clipboard wasn't enough...

"Stop it, man! C..can't we just start mowing the stupid lawn already?" Rigby whined as Mordecai continued to noogie him. Seriously, it's got to be his size. If he wasn't so short, Rigby would probably be king of the world. Maybe if he wore cowboy boots. Yeah... cowboy boots.

...

...Oh! Yeah, the lawn. Rigby pushed away Mordecai as he rubbed his head some more. Thankfully, Benson pulled out the red lawnmower earlier, so the two didn't have to bother with looking for it in the garage. It was right in front of them where they were standing. Rigby ran up and tried to push it out on the grass. Mordecai just stared as he smiled and saw Rigby's masculine demonstration of masculinity. The raccoon pushed the lawnmower all the way to the grass, and mowed the lawn 5 times in a row. Truly, he was the epitome of masculinity.

...

...Well, it FELT that way.

No, in actuality, Rigby couldn't even move the lawnmower from an inch. He just pushed his scrawny little arms on the red mower, hoping it would eventually nudge. The lawnmower was probably broken. That's why it didn't budge. Yeah, totally broken. Mordecai then walked over to the lawnmower, innocent smile and arms behind his back. He softly pushed Rigby out of the way, and grabbed on to the tall handlebar of the lawnmower. If he was trying to move the lawnmower, he should just give up. Seriously, if Rigby couldn't move it, no one can. He then saw Mordecai pushing the handlebar and the lawnmower...

...was moving!

Yeah, it was moving! Mordecai moved all the way to the northern lawn, as Rigby just stayed flabbergasted, amazed at Mordecai's feat. In all honestly, how could he not moved it. He was Rigby!

...

Oh crap. Mordecai was probably 500 feet away from Rigby. The raccoon started rushing on all fours, as he caught up with the smiling blue jay.

"Dude! How'd you move that thing? It's like...500 tons, man! How?" The raccoon boldly complained, as he got back on his two from paw... feet.

"Maybe cause I grabbed the handlebar." Mordecai sarcastically stated, as he continued to push the lawnmower. He started up the engine, as the mower roared and growled. Rawr.

"Man, I wish I was tall. Like, tall like you, dude." Rigby said frustratingly. Could you blame him? He's a short, dim-witted, little raccoon. Did I mention he was short?

"Nah man, it won't work that way. I'm the tall dude, and you're the little guy. Simple as that." That comment almost made Rigby hurl. Seriously, _little guy_, blech...

"Dude, do I have to be the little guy? I hate being the little guy..." Rigby continued to complain. He'd elaborate on WHY he hated being short, but things would get... awkward.

"Relax man. That's just who you are. No use fighting it." Mordecai calmly told his friend, as he continued mowing the lawn. "C'mon, just hop on the mower and let me do the work." The blue jay offered.

Rigby almost never got to sit on lawnmower duty... why is Mordecai suddenly cool with it today?

"Uhhh...can I?" Rigby asked, in a semi-quiet tone.

"Sure. Just consider it as a thanks for taking the clipboard for me." Mordecai jokingly stated, as he stood and waited for Rigby to sit on the lawnmower.

Did Mordecai REALLY had to remind him of the clipboard. Ughh... he forgot about the bump for a while, but now... urghhhh...

"Thanks, man." Rigby said tiredly, as he jumped on the lawnmower. Mordecai then started mowing again, as Rigby felt the roaring of the mower's engine. Rawr. It felt like Rigby was riding a bull. Yeah... bull rider Rigby in the house...

Some days, Rigby hated Mordecai's smug hipster-like attitude. Other days, he just wouldn't be the same without it. Crazy how much he can be irked by, yet at the same time chill with his bro. His tall, smart, awesome bro...

...

...

...

Mordecai...

...!

A sudden weird feeling came over Rigby. As if, some creeper was following him. Thing was, he felt a faint gush of wind from the left of his side...

...whatever. It's probably nothing...

...

...Is that an... ear? Sticking out of the bushes? There really was something sticking out of the bushes. It looked like a... dog's ear...

"Hey Mordecai, do you see that ear in the bushes?" Rigby asked, as Mordecai turned to look at the bush's direction. He did see an ear popping out of it, but for some reason, he wasn't worried.

"Ehh, it's probably just a bum. relax, dude." Mordecai said, carefree as always.

It probably was just a bum. Bums have a natural tendency to sleep in public parks, y'know. It's like a radar they have in their minds. Kinda like a microchip...

...well, at least that's what he saw on TV...

...in a cartoon...

...during Saturday morning...

...Was it just Rigby, or was that ear... following him...?

**Blarg. I'm done. I'm really happy on how this one's starting. Just a heads up, I'm sticking with one character only when writing this story, unlike the original where I tried to write in all the characters. By the way, 5 bucks says Rigby's got ADD. Dunno why, just a gut feeling. And yeah, it's still Mordecai X Rigby. Still refuse to write any sex scenes. -_- All character studies up in this S. Well, I'll update when I feel like it. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish this story. Later.**

**- Mr. P**


	2. The Usual Troubles

**Roar. It's me again, . Like I said, this is meant to be a quasi-re write of one of my original stories, "A Terrible Day that Deserves No Name." I've pretty much scrapped a lot of plot elements from that story in favor of new ones. Please give me your opinion of my writing and such if you get that chance. I gladly appreciate it. Anyways, let's begin.**

It was about noon in the park, as Mordecai continued mowing the grass of the park. Rigby still laid on the lawnmower, as he continued to rest and let Mordecai do the work. The sun's rays started intensifying, as the two groundskeepers began to feel it's effects. Even though he wasn't doing any physical activity, Rigby began panting and sweating, sticking his tongue out hoping he would cool off.

Mordecai also started sweating a bit, but he wasn't reacting as much as Rigby was. He just wiped the sweat off his forehead, and proceeded with cutting the grass. Although this makes it seem like Rigby's just overreacting about the heat, but rest assured this wasn't the case. It MAY appear that Mordecai should be sweating more cause he was doing more work, but Mordecai's blue, see? Well, as in, his feathers are blue, and blue is basically nature's mirror shield or something. Like, the sun's rays would completely reflect off of blue stuff, which is why the sky is blue. Meanwhile, something that's oh let's say, brown, would absorb the reflected rays, and thus would be more prone to heat. This is why Rigby was sweating more than Mordecai. Well... at least that's what Rigby learned after watching some documentary on TV.

...

Rigby started feeling a bit tired. Probably from the sun. It's best if he were to just take a quick nap and... let the time fly by.

...

The sun's rays intensified as Rigby began to close his eyes. After a couple of yawns, and of course, slouching and putting his hands behind his head, Rigby soon began feeling the sun warming him as he slowly drifted into a peaceful... normal... slumber...

...

The roar of the lawnmower also served as a lullaby of sorts, as the powerful, yet gentle roars coming from it, sounded more like a lion's purr than an angry bull now...

...Rigby should really stop thinking about things, and just go to sleep.

...

...

BUMP.

A bump interrupted Rigby's nap. He couldn't feel the lawnmower vibrating anymore, so it must have been switched off. Rigby turned around and saw that Mordecai was no longer grabbing the lawnmower's handlebar. Did something happen to him? Was he taken hostage by kidnappers? Where on earth was he?

"Uhhh... yeah Benson. we got the lawn done just like you asked." a familiar voice said from a distance. Rigby turned around to see Mordecai sheepishly talking with Benson, as Benson began writing in a document of sorts attached to his clipboard.

Rigby was a little upset about this, considering the blue jay just left his friend alone to fend for himself from strangers in the park. But nevertheless, he just shrugged it off and began dashing towards the blue jay and gumball machine.

As he continued running through the endless rows of shrubbery and trees, he soon began to see that same ear or whatever that he saw before. And he was so sure it was following him! Oh god, who is that person? Is it a bum who wants to mug him? Or a creeper who wants to make pelt out of Rigby? Or maybe a-

CRASH

The raccoon crashed into Benson face first. Benson didn't move a nudge from his standing point, but Rigby was soon on the floor, rubbing his crooked snout, hoping no permanent damage was made.

First the bump on his forehead, now his beautiful snout. Today's just not Rigby's day.

"Hey! Watch where you're running!" Benson nagged, as he looked down on the raccoon, currently rubbing his snout. Maybe if Benson moved out of the way, Rigby wouldn't have to worry about watching where he was going...

Benson didn't seem angry, but more annoyed about Rigby crashing into him. In fact, it seemed as if he was too busy with Mordecai to even pay attention to Rigby. Benson looked at Mordecai dead into his eyes. It was a stare that the boss usually gave. It was one of interrogation, since he very rarely believed in the two slackers whenever they talked about work. Mordecai felt the stare penetrate his soul, if that was even possible. He tried his best not to freak out over stress, as he watched Benson slowly walk over to the lawn. He pulled out a small centimeter ruler, as he measured the green grass blades, with hopes that the job was done properly.

An awkward silence overcame the three, with Benson measuring the recently-cut grass, Mordecai trying not to melt of nervousness, and Rigby... well... he was in the middle of figuring out what would be the perfect snack for right now, as he continued lying on the floor. Should he go with a donut... or a hot dog... donut...or hot dog? Donut...dog...donut...dog...

...

Donut-dog?

A sigh was heard from Benson, as he stood up and dusted himself off.

"Well," Benson started as he sighed mid-sentence " at least you guys were able to do your chores for once. Great job... I guess..."

After hearing this, Mordecai stopped sweating and sort of lost his nervousness. Instead, it was replaced with curiosity.

"Is there... something wrong, Benson?" Mordecai asked, with the best intentions possible. Benson nodded his head in disapproval, as his once stern and interrogative face soon turned into a more relieved, yet at the same time worried look.

"It's nothing you or Rigby would care about, that's for sure." Benson stated, with a hint of spite.

The minute he heard his name, Rigby raised an ear, a sign that his curiosity has been invoked.

"Huh? What wouldn't we care about?' Rigby asked, in a somewhat naive tone.

"It's nothing. Just leave it at that." Benson said, as he became more agitated by his employees' constant inferences. Mordecai wasn't satisfied with this answer. He turned to Rigby, and gave him a look that said 'I'm gonna bug him till he finally spills.' Rigby noticed the look, but was far to pre-occupied to respond to his friend. The raccoon was looking off to a tree-top, as he saw something that caught his interest.

Is that a... tail sticking down from that tree?

A...dog's tail?

"C'mon Benson, just tell me. I'm **seriously** bored right now. I could totally go for one of your overdrawn monologues right now." Mordecai facetiously stated, as he leaned closer and closer as Benson began to lean farther and farther back.

"M...monologues? Overdrawn?" The gumball machine exclaimed, feeling quite insulted at these statements. Nevertheless, he took them with a grain of salt, and prepared for a lengthy speech.

"Look, I've just been having some financial trouble is all. Just some funding issues and tax problems. It's nothing too big. It's just been bugging me, okay?" Benson said apathetically. Mordecai was surprised. He was expecting another "why are you guys still hired?" tirades, or hell. a "My ex-girlfriend's a jerk" stories. He seemed a bit... sympathetic to Benson.

"Well, it's nothing that Mr. Mallaerd guy would freak out about, right?" Mordecai asked. He somewhat knew how the whole ownership system worked for the park, but not to the point where he could explain it to someone.

"Heh, That's implying he even KNOWS about the issues." Benson chuckled, as he looked down on the ground. He seemed to grow more worried than anything. It's probably bigger than he made it out.

"It's just... a lot of our money's being spent, and I'm not even sure if it's for the right purposes. I dunno, I just don't want to end up broke on taxing season and lose my job." Benson sighed, as he took a moment to breath.

"Just another day at the grind, right?" Mordecai joked, hoping to alleviate the situation. Benson chuckled once, but after that, dead silence.

Rigby really wasn't paying attention to the discussion. He was too busy observing the tree-tail. It's so... grey... like it completely contrasts from the tree. You could tell there was something up there. It definitely looked like a dog's tail, though...

CRACK

A crack was heard. It was like a... tree branch just broke. It caught the attention of everyone, as they looked over to the origin of the sound.

SNAP

CRACK

THUMP

A person was lying right under the tree that Rigby was staring at. It was... a dog! A dog with the exact same dog tail Rigby was looking at. Come to think of it... it had the exact same ears as the ones following him in the bushes!

"...Owwww.. " the dog weakly said as it laid face down on the floor. It was covered in branches and twigs, and it looked all scruffy too. The dog stood up, and dusted itself off. It's sort of hard to describe, but she looked very scruffy and raggedy, yet elegant and aristocratic at the same time. She wore a beret with a visor, and various Winter clothing such as a jacket, scarf, and jeans. She looked... pretty fat. Like, balloon belly fat. Like, she wasn't completely ball shaped, but her mid section was pretty elongated. She opened her eyes as she saw the blue jay, raccoon, and gumball machine all giving her weird looks. She didn't seem to mind Benson or Mordecai, but when she saw Rigby she grew a bit... tense.

...it looked like she was blushing...

Nevertheless, the dog swallowed her emotions and walked up to Benson and Mordecai. She was just as tall as Benson, so she was able to make eye-contact with him.

"Umm... forgive me for the rude entrance, but I couldn't help but hear you talking about your predicament." The dog said in a very educated, very non-ciliate tone.

"My...predicament?" Benson inquired as he raised an eyebrow. The dog nodded, as she began to speak again.

"Allow me to introduce myself." She started, "My name is Cocoa Berendo. Daughter of Augustus Berendo, famed scientists, and Lindelle Berendo, famed prosecutor." The dog said, in hopes that the two would recognize her of sorts. Benson, Mordecai, and Rigby just remained confused, as they didn't know what to make out of her introduction.

"Ummm...who?" Mordecai asked the dog. The dog, or "Cocoa" as she made herself known was a bit surprised at the groups introduction.

"Y'know... Augustus Berendo, famed scientist in process of revolutionizing artificial intelligence as we speak?" Cocoa inquired, hoping that would clear things up. That was not the case, however, as it just bewildered the three even more.

"E...excuse me?" Benson inquired, feeling a bit nervous at this point. The dog was also loosing it's cool, as it began to sweat a bit.

"W...well, surely you must know my mother, Lindelle Berendo. She's gone her entire profession with only two cases lost." Cocoa stated, nervously. Rigby was just confused to the point it wasn't funny, so he decided to just break the formalities.

"Look, are you gonna tell us what you want or not?" The raccoon boldly stated, catching Cocoa off-guard. She seemed to grow even more nervous, as she began to blush again. What's with this chick?

"Y..you're right. I'll just get to the point." Cocoa stated, with a nervous smile. She cleared her throat as she began again.

"As i said, My name is Cocoa Berendo. I understand that you're facing financial issues with your park, and I'd like to help in any way if I can." The dog stated.

"Wait, how can you help us? What do you DO exactly?" Benson asked, with some suspicion in his voice.

"See, being that my parents are excruciatingly wealthy, they've decided that I can share in said wealth and manage some of the family savings. I understand you need some funds at this moment, and I'm willing to lend you some of my savings, if needed." Cocoa said, as she regained her normal attitude again. She was still blushing though.

"In fact, I can even help with your transactions and whatnot." Cocoa bragged, as she began to reach her hand into a pure she was carrying. Benson was a bit disturbed when he first saw this stranger, but now he was intrigued.

"Wait, what you mean by helping with "transactions"? Are you some sort of accountant?" Benson questioned the dog, wondering who this person really was. Cocoa shook her head in a disagreeing fashion, as she pulled out small white cards from her purse.

"No. I'm a university student. I'm majoring in Psychology, but I'm also getting a minor in accounting." Cocoa replied rather boastfully. She walked up to Benson, as she handed him one of the cards.

"To make it simple, I'm offering you a win-win situation." Cocoa stated. "I want to apply to another job in the future, but I know they'll reject me due to my lack of experience. I have some experience in the accounting world, so I know my way around these sort of things. You need someone to help with your financial issues, I need someone to give me some experience. As I said before, it's a win-win situation. Think about it." Cocoa finished. After she finished talking to Benson, she walked towards Mordecai and handed him one of the cards too. Mordecai took it without a word, as he began analyzing the white card that was presented to her:

- COCA BERENDO:

STUDENT AT DORMWOOD UNIVERSITY.

MAGORING IN PSYCHOLOGY, STUDYING ACCOUNTING

310-667-7779

That's what was written on the card. It was in a black, bold text, contrasting to the white blank card it was written on. Mordecai turned to see Cocoa approaching Rigby and handing him one of these cards. She then started blushing again, as a nervous expression crept on her face. She then shoved a wrapped package at the raccoon, and ran off out of the park.

...

Not a single word was spoken for a while. The silence was broken by Rigby tearing up the package like it were a Christmas gift.

"Are you... sure you should be doing that?" Mordecai asked, as he felt dread was about to occur. Rigby couldn't never understand what was with Mordecai. One minute he was joking with him, the other he's acting like he's his big brother. Yeah, it's not a big deal. Honestly, he would be worried if some creeper ran up and shoved him a package as well. But... it just felt like Mordecai was always... watching for him. And he's always been this way too...

...

Rigby finished opening the package as it revealed a chocolate bar. The minute he saw the delectable wrapped bar, the minute he started tearing the wrapping to shreds and eating the chocolate. Benson was too busy analyzing the card the strange dog just gave to him, but Mordecai just gave the raccoon an worried look, as if he was trying to tell him something.

"What?" Rigby asked with his mouth full of chocolate. "it's just chocolate. Want a bite?"

**OH SHI, I FINALLY INTRODUCED MY OC. YESSSS. That's about it for now. I'll try to get the next chapter up when I can, but again, don't expect an automatic update. I got a life, y'know. XD Later.**


	3. The Usual Slacking

**It's time for another chapter, guyz. I'm happy I can have so much time to work on my stories. For right now, at least. I'd like to remind readers, both with accounts and anonymous that I mainly depend on reader reviews to know what's wrong with a story or not. I can't really fix any problems in my story if I don't get feedback. No, I'm not going to hold my story hostage and not write another chapter until I get a certain amount of reviews, but if you find something wrong with the story, be it grammar, OOC'ness, or just some gripes you have with it, then by all means, leave a review. With that said, let's continue the story.**

Rigby continued with munching on the chocolate bar the strange dog gave him. At first, he did have questions as to why the dog gave this to him, or why him in the first place, but those questions soon dissolved as he took the first bite from the chocolate. Admit tingly, Rigby's not picky with his food. In fact, he'll gladly accept any food from strangers, especially chocolate. The smooth taste, the rich creaminess, how could someone NOT love chocolate? That alone baffles the raccoons mind. Why anyone wouldn't accept free chocolate is just… heresy to him. A heresy that Mordecai supports, apparently…

"Dude, are you… sure you should be eating that?" The blue jay questioned, as he pointed towards the candy bar.

"It's just chocolate, bro. What is she gonna do to it? Poisin it?"

"Well… no… but…"

"Dude, it's free chocolate. FREE CHOCOLATE. It's like the best thing on Earth! Are you sure you don't want any, bro?"

The blue jay stayed silent for a bit, as he softly began and said, "Positive. I'll be with Benson if you need me…"

…Well, it was his lost.

Just as Mordecai said he would, he walked towards his gumball machine employer, ands started discussing stuff with him. Even though Rigby was busy with the more important task of eating his free chocolate, he did manage to overhear some of the stuff they were saying to each other.

"So hey Benson," Mordecai started, "That sure was a… uhhh… _interesting _portfolio… or whatever"

"Well… I'll admit that her presentation was rather… _unorthodox_…" Benson stated, "I'm pretty sure we won't be needing any of her skills. I may be desperate, but not THAT desperate."

Mordecai thought for a bit, as he remembered something that skipped his mind earlier. "Wait, if you need an accountant, why don't we just call Don again?"

Benson said nothing, as a rather dumbfounded look on his face appeared. "Hey Rigby!" Benson called.

Rigby was still thoroughly enjoying his chocolate when Benson called for him. He turned to Benson and Mordecai, revealing a bit of chocolate smeared on his lips. In hindsight, this was kind of funny.

"Huh? You need something?" Rigby asked the gumball machine..

"Do you still have Don's phone number on you?" The gumball machine shouted in a somewhat amplified voice.

…Don?

"Don. You know, your brother?" Mordecai added.

…_I have a brother?_ The raccoon thought to himself, unsure on who the two were referring to.

"You know, 'Give me some sugar?' " Mordecai said, hoping this would knock some memory to his pea-brained friend.

…Oh. THAT Don.

"Yeah. I still have his number." the raccoon uttered, as he started biting his chocolate yet again.

A look of relief appeared on Benson's face, as he knew he could trust Rigby's more responsible brother to handle the upcoming debts.

"Yeah, he told me that he was working ashore, or whatever. Something about an accounting job in Europe or something." Rigby bluntly stated. This statement soon dissolved the hopeful look on Benson's face, returning his more stressful and worried look.

…

W…well, it's not like Rigby said it with malicious intentions. He just… felt it was necessary to mention that little detail.

And it's not like he's glad Don's gone. He was just sort of… uninterested is all.

…

…That sounded more jerk-ish than what was intended. Rigby should just stop thinking right now.

"So how bout that one crazy chick? Like, what was her problem?" Rigby joked with his two co-workers. Mordecai, somewhat surprised that Rigby had no idea what was going on in the last couple of minutes, pointed towards one of the business cards "Cocoa" gave them, and said " I think she was trying to apply for an accounting job."

Accounting job?

….

Oh! No wonder Benson asked him about Don. That girl must have overheard and tried to make her move…

…Why did it take Rigby forever to make these easy connections? Maybe it's due to all the sweets he consumes. It probably causes him to go on sugar rushes 24/7. He's always been this way, though…

…so this is what it's like to have high blood sugar, right?

"Uhh… so are… you gonna give her the job or what?" Rigby asked, in his blunt tone. "Cause y'know, even though she gave me this free chocolate, she seems pretty nuts to me."

Benson chuckled, knowing exactly what the raccoon meant. "No. I'll hold on to her business card, but other than that, I doubt you'll be seeing her working at the park." Rigby let out a relieved sigh, thankful that his boss had some sense of logic. Well... at least in his opinion

...

Now that Rigby thought about it, maybe that chocolate really WAS poisoned. The more Rigby thought about it, the more he found it strange that a random dog would just give him chocolate for no good reason. But… how could he resist? It was free chocolate. FREE. CHOCOLATE. Why didn't Mordecai stop the raccoon from eating the chocolate? If it WAS poisoned, who knows how it was affecting him, at the moment. Maybe it'd paralyze his lungs, not letting him breathe. Maybe he'd get a serious case of the stomach flu. Who knows? What with the way that dog just handed him the chocolate, maybe she was some sort of maniacal genius, who maybe put some sort of mind controlling chip, that'll slowly but surely take over his brain, forcing him to push Benson to hire her for the accounting job!

...

If that were the case, then that chip sure is taking its time. Well, he may as well enjoy these last couple of minutes of his free will before the chip reaches his brain. He figured that he'd spend these last moments doing something totally original.

"Hey Mordecai!" Rigby shouted, "Wanna play some video games?"

...Okay, maybe not THAT original. Mordecai heard Rigby call out for him, as the raccoon ran up to him on all of his fours. He kind of felt bad that his small conversation with his boss would be over, but the video games were tempting the blue jay with their siren's call, demanding to be playes. And to be honest... after mowing the lawn under the hot sun, Mordecai felt he too deserved a break from work.

"Gotta go, Benson." he addressed his boss "Rigby wants me to beat him for the umpteenth time again."

"HEY!" the raccoon exclaimed, not understanding that the blue jay was joking "I could totally beat you in any game, any time. Name your game, bro."

…hindsight reveals Rigby just unintentionally made a horrible pun. And Rigby hates hindsight with a passion. Mordecai, as a response to Rigby's boast, raised an eyebrow as a sign of questioning.

"ANY game?" Mordecai questioned jokingly. With that said, the two friends rushed into the park house, with a rather friendly rivalry sparking between them. Being left behind, Benson stared in awe as his employees ran off to slack off from their jobs, right in front of their own boss.

"HEY, I DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU COULD- oh never mind" Benson backed off from the threat. He remembered he had much more pressing matters , rather than threatening his mediocre employees, to attend, such as hiring an inexpensive accountant. Or budgeter… or whatever…

…

"Dude, you're doing it wrong." Mordecai said, as he saw his raccoon companion fidgeting and bouncing, while mashing the buttons on his remote control

"Doing it wrong? Whattya mean?" Rigby agitatedly replied, as he always received snide comments from Mordecai when the two played video games. Even though Rigby was listening and talking to Mordecai, his attention was actually fixated towards the colored bits and blots displaying on the TV. The video game itself was mainly a favorite of Rigby's. He bought it with the little savings he owned, only because he was completely mesmerized by the cover art the game's box sported. The cover art sported a cyborg shark, locked in combat with an android bear, with bold text declaring the game's name to be "Robowar". Never has Rigby seen a concentration of "cool" as this game before. And this was before he even started playing it.

Every time he booted up this game, an urge of excitement grew inside the raccoon, kind of like a little kid would act. Admit tingly, Rigby knew he was a little too old to be getting so exited for something like a video game, but hey, as other people would put it, he was just "being Rigby".

"Dude, just let me handle the enemies, and you focus on picking up power-ups, k?" Mordecai sarcastically stated, controlling his in-game character to pound on dozens of CPU enemies.

…apparently, "being Rigby" also meant sucking at video games, if you asked Mordecai. Every time they would play a game, Rigby would end up doing "something wrong" while Mordecai just… aced the entire game. It was unnatural! If Rigby was stuck on a level for a good couple of weeks, Mordecai can complete it in mere hours. If Rigby can't beat a boss after the fifty-ith time, Mordecai would obliterate it, AND get some hidden item stored in the level. And if the two ended up playing together, Mordecai would always be the one saving Rigby from enemy CPU's, getting all the good power-ups, and of course, being player 1. And bear in mind, this also applies to games Mordecai would play for the first time. Don't get him wrong, it's not like Rigby HATED playing with his friend, he just felt that sometimes he shouldn't even bother trying to catch up with him. As Mordecai instructed, Rigby made his character hunt for power-ups, as Mordecai's character kept racking the points and mindless cronies. He felt that maybe today, he'd try not to get competitive, and try to focus on enjoying his sweet game.

"Wow, you're REALLY doing what I'm telling you to do?" Mordecai chuckled, with a hint of surprise in his voice "It's sad that you won't even bother PLAYING the game. Why don't you just bring me a can of soda while you're at it, eh Rigby?"

…unless the bird took him too far. This is such a case.

" Oh you want me to PLAY the game? Alright. I'll PLAY the freaking game!" the raccoon shouted angrily, mashing the buttons even more than before. Mordecai smirked, as he observed his friend furiously press and pound buttons in order to make his game character deal out punches and kicks. As he mashed more and more, Rigby's game character would chain even more combos, successfully defeating a random enemy CPU to it's final health point.

"HA! How's THAT for playing the game, huh?" Rigby gloat fully barked, knowing in his mind he impressed his friend.

"Not bad," Mordecai said in a rather cool monotone, "Now do that with all the other enemies."

At first, Rigby didn't know what Mordecai was talking about, but he soon realized that surrounding Rigby's game character, there were dozens upon dozens of enemy CPUs, each harder than the last. The raccoon witnessed as the CPUs demolished his character, as Mordecai continued "owning" said CPUs.

…Never before has Rigby felt such deep shame. The raccoon dropped his control, witnessing the amazing talent his blue jay friend possessed. It was heart-wrenching. Not only could Rigby NOT defend his masculinity to his friend, but said friend instantly overshadowed his feat of awesomeness with an even bigger one. He really didn't want to play anymore, instead, with a shamed look, Rigby climbed on the couch where Mordecai was sitting, and just spectated his friend's amazing feats.

"Oh quit being such a baby" Mordecai joked light-heartedly. Rigby knew better than to assume that Mordecai was deliberately being a jerk, but he couldn't help being a sore loser from time to time. Especially when it came to video games.

…

Rigby remembered the only reason he even started playing this game with Mordecai was to enjoy his last moments of free will with his friend until the theoretical chip reached his brain. He may as well tell Mordecai about his fate, seeing as he might not get this chance again.

"Hey umm… Mordecai?" The raccoon quietly asked.

"Yeah dude, what is it?"

"You remember that weirdo dog from earlier today, right." Rigby softly spoke, getting a bit… closer to his friend.

"Dude, that was like what, an hour ago? No, a little less than an hour. How can I forget?" Mordecai scoffed at the somewhat stupid question. "But yeah, what about her?"

The raccoon started again, "Well, you remember how she gave me a random chocolate var, and how I ate it and you were like "Dude, it could be poisoned" and I was like "Nuh-uh, it's free chocolate" and stuff?"

As Mordecai heard his friend's account, he couldn't help but notice Rigby scooting toward the blue jay a bit closer and closer every time he talked.

"Yyyeaahh… and?" the blue jay stated somewhat sternly.

"I'm…starting to think… that you were… right…and… itcouldhavebeenpoisoned." The raccoon quickly said, again, scooting closer and closer. Mordecai didn't know how to react at first, but he let a small chuckle slip out, finding it hilarious how Rigby's opinion changes so quickly, if given enough time.

"Really? So like… what do you think the poison's gonna do to you?" The blue jay said in a more joking fashion than what Rigby interpreted.

"Ummm… I don't think it's a poison, but more like a microchip-thingy that's gonna slowly take over my brain and make me some sort of remote controlled lackey."

…

Was Mordecai… laughing?

Rigby was expecting some denial from his friend, but laughing? Is he getting some sick kick out of this or something?

"H..hey! This is some serious business, bro" The raccoon stated in a shaky voice. Mordecai was still laughing. He's been doing quite a lot of it today, as a matter of fact.

"Dude, I was just kidding back there." Mordecai said carelessly, "I didn't actually mean it."

"You didn't?"

"No, dude." The blue jay said before breaking off into another fit of laughter. "Besides, if it were true, why would ANYONE want to control that tiny little pea-brain of yours. It's practically useless."

Not knowing how to take a joke, Rigby grumbled angrily when he heard this comment. " People are TOTALLY trying to get a piece of me. And my brain isn't tiny!"

Mordecai just kept laughing, as he grabbed on to Rigby by his shoulder with one of his arms, pulling the raccoon directly next to himself, in a hug-like grab of sorts. Rigby struggled a bit to break loose, but Mordecai kept holding on to the raccoon.

"Whatever man. You're a funny little guy, y'know that."

…Tiny PEAbrain, LITTLE guy, geez, why not just say he's straight out a dwarf, just to save some time.

…

But… Rigby couldn't stay mad at Mordecai. Yeah, he comes off as a jerk sometimes, and yeah, he's a pain for Rigby to be with too. But…

It wasn't like dealing with a random stranger who's a complete jerk to you. Rigby's known Mordecai for years, and just like how Rigby's little quirks grew on the blue jay, he can't help but admit that Mordecai's little glitches aren't as annoying as he makes it seem. Again, hindsight being a jerk 24/7 to Rigby reveals that maybe he really was over-reacting to some of the things Rigby previously hated, such as always being player 1, his rather questionable taste in music, and (dare he say) the whole "high school diploma" thing.

He really was like a brother to him. A tall, cool, and funny brother. A brother he could rely on whenever he screwed up. A brother he could count to do stupid stuff with him, every now and then. And he knew that the feeling was shared with Mordecai. He felt a bit guilty that he didn't feel this way with Don, but then again, he didn't exactly grow up with Don like he did with Mordecai. Maybe he should catch up with him some day. So long as he didn't give him "sugar" in public. For now, Rigby decided to just embrace the kind gesture Mordecai was offering him today. The raccoon could feel the warmness originating from the blue jay's body. He didn't like people knowing, but he really was one of those sentimental guys. Y'know, those losers that gush over every time they hug with their girlfriend and stuff. Well… Rigby had no interest in girlfriends, so his bro just had to do. Mordecai was still playing the video game with one hand, as hard that is to believe. Rigby was just digging the kind gesture, as he felt his conscience slipping away… into a soft slumber.

…

Funny, he always had this strange attachment to Mordecai And this embrace just made it a bit more prominent. It didn't seem like Mordecai was minding at all, so he may as well let himself go… for a bit.

…

D…don't get any ideas, though. Bros do this all the time. It's totally normal.

**Huzzah. Another unnecessary hiatus has gone for one of my stories. To answer any questions that people may have, yes, this is a Mordecai and Rigby supporting story. Yes, this story is inspired by the amazing Regular Show: August story by DatRegularBro. Yes, my OC Cocoa has a thing for Rigby, but it'll go nowhere (that's all I will say in order to prevent further spoilers) and yes, I'm perfectly open for critique. COME AT ME BROS.**

**I guess you can consider these first 3 chapters as a prologue of sorts. There will be other canon characters later in the story, but the main purpose was to re-state the main character will be Rigby throughout the majority of the story. I'll try working on Ch 4 as soon as possible. That'll pretty much establish Cocoa's character and personality, as well as association to the canon characters. Until then, feel free to critique. See you on the flipside**

**- Mr. Parodious.**


	4. A Cup of Joe

**Salutations, and many greetings to all. This is Mr. Parodious, bringing you once again another chapter of this story. In order to prevent any confusion, I'm going to state that from here on out, each chapter is set on a single day (in a pitiful attempt to rip off Regular Show: August.) Though, unlike August, I won't be using the month framing device. Consider the first three chapters as set in the same day. With this said, I hope that there won't be any confusion about the setting and whatnot. As always, read the story, and leave your reviews/critiques. Let's get started, then.**

Y'know that first coffee cup you have in the morning? The one that just... wakes you up from the morning haze. The one that burns a bit when it goes down your throat, but tastes like the freshest, and most tasty cup of joe that you'll have throughout the entire day? Well, most people seem to take it for granted, but Rigby saw himself as "coffee connoisseur", enjoying every black, sugar infused drop of coffee he was having at the moment. If he could, he would drink a gallon of the liquid, seeing as how much he enjoys the caffeine and excess amount of sugar. Hey, it's not like Rigby denied being a fatass, in fact, he kind of made that perfectly clear.

It was Sunday, Mordecai and Rigby's official day off from school. And what better way to start it with breakfast. Now, bear in mind, Rigby loves eating food, but not necessarily COOKING it. And Mordecai himself was alright with eating cold cereal every morning. And not even the good kind, according to Rigby. He prefers sugary, frosted, and absolutely unhealthy cereals like "Sugar Frosted Sugar Bombs" rather than the bland flakes and oats Mordecai would indulge in. Nevertheless, the two ate their respective cereals, accompanied by mugs of coffee.

"So Mordecai," Rigby asked, while munching on a spoonful of sugar cereal, "We've got an entire day off. Got any plans in mind?"

"Ehhh... not for now, but hey, we've got an entire day to figure something out." Mordecai said calmly. Figures that Mordecai didn't have any plan in mind. They always did end up just wasting their days off loitering at the coffee shop, or spending all their money in the town's arcade. It didn't bother Rigby. At least he wasn't stuck at some pointless meeting.

"Plans?" a somewhat gruff voice said from a small distance, "I wouldn't be making any plans right now, especially if it's recreational stuff."

A white yeti wearing blue jeans walked into the kitchen, serving himself some cereal Mordecai was eating, as he reached for a newspaper to read. The voice startled Rigby for a bit, but after he saw the yeti, whose name was Skips, he was relieved to see a familiar face, and not some random mercenary with scars all over his body.

...What? With a voice like Skips', wouldn't you be a bit nervous for your life? And don't let Rigby get started on his huge muscles...

...wait, what did he mean on "not making any plans"?

"Uhhh... are we, like, gonna go out to McHooligan's today, or what?" Rigby asked, hoping that was the answer. Skips, while reading his paper, shook his head, making Rigby wonder what's there to do on his and Mordecai's day off.

"Benson told me we're gonna have an emergency meeting in a couple of minutes." Skips stated a bit coldly, "Something about 'welcoming a new member to the party'. So just don't make any compromises at the moment." With that, Skips finished his cereal, and with newspaper tucked under his arm, skipped out of the kitchen, probably to spread the news.

Great... the one thing Rigby didn't want to do today, is the first thing on schedule. Oh how life loved torturing him sometimes.

"This... blows." Rigby sighed, as he too finished his cereal. Savoring the last drops of coffee, Rigby laid his raccoon head on the table, frustrated at the news he received. Mordecai seemed unaffected, as he continued munching on the cereal at hand.

"It won't be for long. You'll see." Mordecai non-clientèle said. The blue jay was a bit ticked off about his day off being interrupted, but not as much as his rather exaggerative friend. "C'mon, I think Benson's waiting for us outside."

The pair were sitting outside on the steps of the house. Whenever Benson would have an emergency meeting, it'd always be in front of the house. No one knows why, but they did. Rigby, who was rather bored about waiting for his boss to come, was fidgeting around with a pen he found on the floor. It was kind of beaten up, and plain white, but it was much more interesting than the meeting he was about to experience. This he knew.

"Oh my, is that one of those quills with the ink inside of it?" A voice called out, with a hint of enthusiasm. Rigby turned to see Pops, the rich yet childlike patron of the public park. He was staring at the raccoon with a smile on his huge lollipop like face, with his arms behind his back. As always, he wore expensive looking clothing, and a top hat to "top" it off.

"Mind if I see it?" the mustachioed man asked, holding out an arm. At first Rigby didn't know what Pops was referring to. Hell, he doesn't even know what a "quill" is. But judging by him mentioning "ink" being inside, he must be talking about the pen. Rigby gave the pen to Pops, as Pops sat down next to Rigby. He fiddled with the pen as Rigby did, only in a much more enthusiastic way, literally bewildered by the pen's composition and workings.

"It's so fascinating" Pops started, "Rigby where did you get this?"

"From the floor." Rigby said, with an uninterested look.

"Really? Oh good show, then. One could imagine what kind of treasures one can find on the floor." Pops exclaimed. He then placed the pen on his nose, trying to balance it. He's probably mimicking Mordecai, considering he does that whenever he's REALLY bored.

Rigby turned around to Mordecai, who was listening to music, and began to whisper things to him.

"Geez, who knew Pops could be so easily entertained" The raccoon gossiped

"Meh, I think that's better than being extremely difficult to please." Mordecai said, as he made a gesture with his hand, basically implying that about Rigby.

"W…whatever, man." Rigby grumbled. As if Mordecai was such an easy goer…

The silence was interrupted by the sound of a golf cart parking. In said golf cart was a green, somewhat obese man, a floating ghost with an arm on his head, and of course, Skips, who was driving. They also noticed Benson sitting next to Skips, clipboard and everything. Geez, is that guy in love with his clipboard or something? He had it with him everywhere.

"You should have let me drive, Skips." the green man who went by the nickname, "Muscle Man" stated. "We would have gotten here much faster. No offense"

"Sure we would." Skips said somewhat sarcastically. The four got off the cart, and while Benson stood in front of the steps, Skips, Muscle Man, and of course, High Five Ghost sat on the steps. Well… Fives just floated in front of Rigby, while Muscle Man, who was pestering Mordecai for god knows why, was in sitting in front of him. Benson cleared his throat. It was obvious Benson was a bit stressed about whatever he was gonna talk about, due to the slight jitters that caused his gumballs to rattle. Again, Rigby thought about the idea of a Benson rattler, wondering what kind of sick person would give that to their kid.

… heh heh, Benson rattle…

"Alright, you're all probably wondering why you're here" Benson said, as he flipped a page on his clipboard. Rigby was listening, but he was rather more focused on a couple of birds bathing in a fountain. Hey, ANYTHING is more interesting than a stupid meeting, according to Rigby.

" Well, we'd be here all day if I gave you the full story, so I'll just give you the summary." Benson said. " Basically, the park's been having financial problems, both fund wise and management wise. I've decided to hire someone to help us out with said problems, and maybe even consult us on ummm… "proper" money management."

"Now, this would be the part that I introduce our new, ahem, "workmate", but she said she was gonna arrive a few minutes late, so we're just have to wait for a while..."

Before Benson could finish, a motor rumbling was heard from the background. The source of said engine roaring came from a white scooter. Upon it, was... a rather familiar face to Rigby

...

It was that dog from earlier this week. The one that gave him that chocolate bar...

...

Oh god...

The dog was wearing an aviator's helmet and goggles. She got off the moped, removed said aviators helm and goggles, and pulled out a beret from the helmet. Unlike the last day, she wore a backpack instead of a purse. She looked at the group, sitting on the steps, and started getting... tense. And sweaty.

"Huh? There's so many of you..." the dog mumbled. Rigby wasn't listening as much as should have, he was too busy trying to figure what the heck was going on. An emergency meeting that Benson called to introduce "a new member to the party", and that dog is right here. That only means…

…oh God, no.

"Well, for being a "few minutes late", you certainly seem nervous." Benson stated bluntly. The dog was still shaking. It seemed like it was her first day at work. The dog shook for a bit, and came to her senses

"S..sorry, I'm just a little bit startled. I... really wasn't expecting to work with so many people." The dog, Cocoa was her name if Rigby remembered correctly, cleared her through, and reached out for something inside her backpack. She pulled out a mini laptop, which looked like it was worth a lot og money.

"Well, I may as well introduce myself. I'm Cocoa Berendo." The dog started. "I'll be your financial advisor and manager from this day forth. I'll basically help you out with anything that deals with money and funds. Don't get used to me, however. I'll only be coming on Saturdays for weekly meetings."

Oh goodie, MORE meetings. Rigby COUDN'T be more amused.

"W...well, I'll give you the down low on your financial situation so far. Let's take this inside, however. I feel rather uncomfortable discussing these subjects out in public."

Benson agreed , and the entire crew headed into the house. Well, all except Rigby. He was laying down on the steps, hands on his stomach. Mordecai noticed that Rigby was lazing back, and not wanting to deal with his slacking, tried to get him up and into the house.

"C'mon, dude. Get up." Mordecai pestered. Rigby remained silent, as he tried his best to fall asleep. He's not gonna deal with more meetings. Especially with that weirdo dog.

Mordecai, who was rather annoyed at this presentation of laziness, picked up Rigby like if he were a cat, and dragged him into the house. Again, if Rigby were taller, this kind of stuff would never happen.

When the group was in the house, Cocoa began her presentation on the park's funding. Let's just say that Rigby was NOT interested. She went on and on about stocks, profit, funding, she showed graphs and charts about some nonsense, but the worst part was that Rigby was being FORCED to listen to this. And he didn't even know what any of it was! He just sat in that chair in the kitchen, and while everyone nodded and scratched their chins, Rigby just laid his head on the table, waiting for this torture to end. He honestly wouldn't be surprised if he died of boredom.

"And... that's about it" Cocoa finished. "I'll be coming back next Saturday to check up on how you guys are doing. Don't be surprised if I do show up a couple of days in the week, however. I get rather bored of my studies some days, and I just need to catch breathers time around time." The dog packed away her computer, making it clear that the long meeting was over. Rigby couldn't be any happier.

"Finally! Yo Mordecai, wanna catch a couple of rounds of Strong Johns with me?" Rigby eagerly asked, already knowing the answer.

"Fine." Mordecai bluntly said "But I'm player one."

"Aren't you always?"

The two were back in the living room, as everyone broke up to whatever they were going to do for the day. It actually got rather late. Benson went up to his office to grudgingly finish some paperwork, Skips left to his house to do... whatever Skips does, Pops went to his room to listen to some old records, Muscle Man and Fives went to break something, whatever, and Mordecai and Rigby were in the living room, playing Strong Johns, with their feet on the table. Rigby was glad that he was finally goofing off with his bro, no longer stuck in that horrible torture that was that meeting. Mordecai seemed to not have been affected, at all. Rigby sort of admired this from Mordecai, but he didn't say that to his face. He... sort of kept stuff like that to himself.

As the two were lazily playing, Rigby couldn't happen to notice that someone was watching over them. It seemed... familiar to him. Like it happened to him a couple of days ago. After he saw that their watcher was none other than Cocoa, the financial advisor or whatever, he seemed to remember why this seemed like déjà vu. She even fell over like she did when she fell out of the tree. Perfect...

"Great, what do you want?" Rigby coldly said. Mordecai was a bit interested with the scene that was playing out, so he paused the game to see how it would roll out.

"I... just came to say... hi." Cocoa said, rather nervously.

"Good. Hi. Now, if you don't mind..."

"And... I just wanted to get to know you better." the dog continued. "Both of you... actually."

Rigby didn't know what to say at the moment, so he just stayed quiet for a moment.

"Hey ummm... Cocoa, right?" Mordecai greeted. The dog bowed her head, and sat next to the raccoon, rather... close like.

"Yes, that's right. Please forgive me if I seem intrusive, it's just that I want to get to know my clients in a more… ummm... personal factor, if you will." Cocoa continued, as she seemed to get closer to Rigby, if that was even possible. It was getting pretty…intense, for Rigby's tastes.

"Uhhh… dude?" The raccoon spoke. He was trying to infer to the dog that he was entering his private space bubble. Thankfully, the dog took notice, and moved back, giving Rigby space to breathe.

"Sorry." Cocoa lamented. "I'm just gonna... head on my way now."

With that, the dog left the couch, and rushed straight through the door. Mordecai caught a glimpse of her face, as he saw there was a rather prominent pink tone on said face.

"Yeesh, that dog's such a creeper, right Mordecai?" Rigby joked. Mordecai didn't respond. He had a smile on his face, a rather sly one, one he usually wore whenever he had dirt on someone.

"Dude, she totally has the hots for you." Mordecai blurted.

"What? No way!" Rigby retorted. Mordecai started laughing for a bit. This seemed too familiar for the raccoon's taste.

"Dude, you seriously couldn't tell? She like, TOTALLY has the hots for you." Mordecai continued laughing, as Rigby just stared, blankly, absorbing the information. He was hoping it was just a joke. A cruel, horrible, and completely untrue joke. But, a part inside him knew it was true. Considering that the dog has been pretty much STALKING Rigby, it'd make sense she'd have some sort of thing for him.

… why does life suck so much, sometimes?

Couldn't he just, goof off without having anything interrupt him, backfire him, or burst into the window and punch him in the stomach?

"Rigby..."

Hell, if it isn't digital demons coming from a broken arcade machine, or sentient hot dogs that have an obsession over mustard, or hell, even something so ridiculous like a records book that literally re-writes reality, then Rigby's slacking off is interrupted by gratingly long meetings complete with creepy stalker chicks that probably have photos of him.

"Rigby..."

And to make it worse, who knows how long she's been doing it. It could have been days, months, YEARS, Maybe it's because he's so damn short. He really should look into those cowboy boots...

"RIGBY!"

"Huh?" Rigby was startled by his friend's call. Rigby turns to Mordecai, as his friend was holding on his shoulder with his feathery fingers.

"Dude, like, are you okay, you kinda fazed out on me." The bird said "Something wrong?"

Well... now that he mentioned it...

"Wanna go get a coffee?"

…

The two were in a coffee shop, one which Rigby and Mordecai visit on a daily basis. It was pretty quaint, you had your sandwiches, your pastries, your donuts (Rigby's favorite), and of course, coffee. Though, if Rigby had to be honest, the real reason why the two constantly visited this shop was mainly for...

"You guys need anything else?" a womanly voice called

Ahh. Perfect timing. As Rigby was thinking, it was mainly for this red crested robin waitress, Margaret. A really good friend of the two, even if she is kind of out there, at least the way Rigby saw it.

"Ummm... no, I'm good, I'm good, really." Mordecai stammered a bit, "Rigby, do you want anything?"

Rigby thought for a moment, as he wondered what would he get, from the wide variety available.

...Yes. That was sarcasm.

"How about a jelly filled donut? Make it one of the strawberry ones." The raccoon requested. Margaret took down the raccoon's order, though, she had a very unsure look on his face.

"You... sure about that? They're pretty cheap, like, in the sense that it's poorly made. Like… really poorly made." Margaret advised

Rigby looked at the cardinal funny, wondering what she means by poorly made. "How can a donut be poorly made? It's a donut. It isn't that hard to make."

"Well, a lot of customers have been giving me complaints about how extremely filled" they are." Margaret said, "They said it would pour jelly all over their clothes. Like, REALLY poured over their clothes. You sure you don't want anything else?"

Rigby nodded, "Nah, one donut and maybe another cup of coffee."

"Alright, it's your funeral." The robin alerted, as she walked away to the back kitchen, snickering about something.

Well, as Rigby hungrily waited, twiddling his thumbs, imagining the fried fatty pastry he was gonna enjoy, he couldn't help but notice that Mordecai was rather... frozen, per say.

It kind of happened every time Margaret came around. Mordecai would try to ask her out, always proclaiming he's gonna "make his move" but by the end, he ends up making himself look socially challenged. Rigby always wondered why Mordecai bothered with his "move" if he kept freezing up like this. However, Rigby couldn't happen to notice that this time around, he looked a bit ...depressed about something.

"Man," Mordecai sighed, "Sometimes I wished that I had it as easy as you, Rigby."

…easy?

"What do you mean by... easy?" Rigby asked, with a certain degree of naiveté

The blue jay took a small sip from his coffee, letting the hot liquid wake him up. "Well... say what you will about them, at least girls try hitting on you, not the other way around."

…

"Sh..shut up." Rigby grumbled. "I just wanna forget about today, okay? Don't remind me about that stalker.."

Mordecai chuckled quietly, "Hey, like I said, at least she's the one trying to hit on you. Plus, she's not the only one."

Rigby prepared himself to say something, before he was interrupted by a quick tug on the shoulder.

"Hey Rigby. I got your donut right here, and your coffee. Just the way you like it."

Oh, it was just Eileen. That little mole girl who works with Margaret. She was holding a tray with a coffee mug and a glazed jelly filled donut. It looked quite appetizing, really.

"I picked out the best donut from the batch for you. Though, it really isn't that good to start with." Eileen said, blushing a bit. She laid down the tray, as Rigby looked at the donut, his mind filled with expectations of how great his snack would be. He WAS gonna thank the girl for bringing his food, but he was too fixated over the donut he was about to eat.

"Call me if you need anything, okay?" Eileen said meekly. Rigby picked up the savory looking donut, licking his lips in anticipation.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks." Rigby hastily said, again, he was too busy getting ready to eat his pastry. Eileen nodded, and walked away back to her station. Rigby overheard her calling herself an idiot, and hitting her forehead. She always did this whenever she came to sever him something. She's such a weird girl, always trying to do something nice for the raccoon, for no reason.

"See?" Mordecai said, as Rigby finally started eating the donut, savoring the sugary bread and jelly. "The girls just keep coming to you. Like, really, how do you do it?"

"Huh? Look, I get that the dog has a thing for me, but I don't know who else you're talking about. So can I just eat my donut in peace?" Rigby said, as he took a bite from his donut. Strawberry jelly started oozing from the donut, as it started spilling a bit on the raccoon.

"Dude, like, this thing's like, filled to the top with jelly. It's so good." The raccoon commented, as he kept chewing the piece of donut he bit. Of course, Rigby would be pretty naïve about certain things such as feelings people had towards him, but Mordecai honestly couldn't believe he was THIS oblivious about girls. He saw Eileen through a window in the back kitchen, talking to Margaret about something that had her worried. Margaret seemed to be comforting her, patting her on the back, telling her something that made her smile. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to pick up the signs. Then again, this was Rigby we're talking about. He was jus sting there, eating his donut, as he was letting the majority of its contents fall on his snout and arms. He didn't even notice, as he was entranced by the cheap product's flavor, which he would consider as gourmet.

"Y'know, with table manners like those, it's a surprise that people even talk to you." Mordecai snidely remarked, with Rigby staring at him, with a bewildered look on his face. He then looked at his donut literally bleeding jelly on his fur, the fur he works vigorously to keep clean.

"D'AAAH! My fur!" Rigby whined "Mordecai, why didn't say anything?"

Mordecai shrugged, as he said "Hey, you wanted to "eat your donut in peace." Maybe if you actually used napkins, this wouldn't have happened."

Rigby frantically reached for napkins to wipe off the jelly from his fur. He scrubbed and scrubbed, yet the incredibly sticky jelly just stayed, mocking his poor attempt of hygiene. He really did look like a mess, with sticky globs of red artificially flavored jelly on his nice clean brown fur. It was even worse with the added fact that he was in public, everyone could see him like this.

"Oh, Rigby! You got a… a little something all over your face. And your arms and body, too." Eileen chuckled quietly, as she walked up to the table with Margaret.

"Dude, you should like, totally use that stuff as hair gel. Maybe spike your hair up a bit, y'know, look cool" Mordecai joked. He took a drink of his coffee, letting his joke sink in to the raccoon's mind.

"STOP TALKING." Rigby whined. "It's not my fault! S…someone should have warned me about this!"

Margaret shrugged, with a unaffected look on her face. "Sorry" she said, "I tried to warn you. At least you know for next time."

Rigby just laid his head on the table, trying to just ignore everything in the scenario. He heard Mordecai trade jokes with Eileen and Margaret, Eileen chuckling, trying to remove the jelly from his fur, and Margaret telling a story about another customer she had, and how this exact same thing happened, only he had scales instead of fur. True story, apparently. It sounded all like background noise to Rigby. He really did just want the day to end. It's funny how he was so exited in the morning, only to have it all fall apart in the end. People would say he's overreacting, but trust him, he's going to have to spend all night scrubbing and washing himself, when he can be watching internet videos, or eating everything in the fridge, or pulling a prank, or something that's just fun.

At the same time, however, this felt sort of normal to him. He was pretty much the bottom of the social order totem pole, right under Mordecai, so of course he ends up being the butt of the joke. Sometimes he didn't mind, heck, he kind of liked the prospect of having nothing specifically expected out of him, other than just… being Rigby. A goof, a bit eccentric, however you'd put it, it would just be being Rigby. And… even though this seems kind of weird, it felt really nice knowing that "being Rigby" was his only real responsibility. Yeah, he had a job to do, but that was just so he could just have a couple of bucks. If anything, the only real thing that was bothering him at the moment was his sticky fur, and the prospect of a stalker fan girl of sorts. He hoped she wouldn't get TOO in between him and Mordecai. He needs his daily dose of bro-time.

"Hey Rigby," Mordecai called "You done sulking already? C'mon, let's head home, I got some stuff to do back at the house."

Rigby reached for his mug of coffee, only to find it… gone. He then felt a warm Styrofoam cup in his hand… paw. Apparently, Eileen took his mug of coffee and out it in a to-go cup. She was blushing, with her hands behind her back. Again with the random acts of kindness… it was sort of creepy, but not stalker creepy so he's okay with it. He jumped down from the chair he was sitting on, and grudgingly made his way to the front door.

"Later guys, and good luck with that "thing" you've got to do Mordecai," Margaret chirped "Whatever it is."

The two left the coffee shop, walking towards a golf cart they used to get to the shop. Rigby sat next to Mordecai, who was in the driver's seat. He started the engine, as Mordecai felt the need to make one more joke. Last one, promise.

" So hey, does this happen whenever you go out to eat anywhere? I mean, judging by how you didn't even notice…"

"JUST. Shut up." Rigby interrupted "Shut up, please."

Mordecai snickered, as he started driving the cart. "D'aaaw. Poor wittle Wigby's mad" the bird teased "Let's go home so you can wash up, okay little guy?"

Rigby just grumbled, as he took a sip of the over caffeinated, sugary black drink. A perfect way to start the day, a not so perfect way to end it, right?

…

"Uhh, Mordecai? You got a loofa I could borrow?"

**Well, there you have it. My OC Cocoa has established her stalker-esque relationship, and Rigby is once again the butt of the joke. All is right in the world., ya? As I said before, the way the chapters work are that each are set in a separate day, but not restricted to specific months, weeks, etc. I guess you can say this is a one-shot compilation with a running storyline. You can probably guess what the plotline is. It's predictable, really. -_- Anyways, criticism is always appreciated, and so is your overall opinion. I may try including artwork along this story on my deviantART account, but don't count on it. I may have to warn people that my OC will be pretty prominent in this story, but not to the point where she'll become the new main character point of view. It's still Rigby's story. The guy doesn't get as much love as he deserves. - 3 - Thank you very much for reading, any review would be appreciated.**


	5. Our Official Meeting Pt 1

**Ah, so we meet again. This is Mr. Parodious, and I'm glad that people are actually reading this story. To be honest, this chapter was hard to come up with. I don't know why, it just was.**

**I think it was probably due to the insanely high amount of Euroschlock I've been watching. **

**...**

**Anyways, reviews will be gladly appreciated, please, enjoy the show.**

**WARNING: This chapter contains words. HUNDREDS OF THEM. It's a long ass chapter, so you may want to have some snacks while you're reading.**

"Okay, so... that's one ice cream sandwich, a large box of nachos with extra cheese, and a soda. That'll be ten dollars, please." The raccoon grudgingly said, as he placed the confections he mentioned on the bar. A man on the other side reviewed the contents on the table, as he happened to notice that something was a bit... off.

"Hey, wait a minute." He started. "This nacho box is half empty. What, did you have to use a bigger box than usual or..."

The man stopped as he noticed that his raccoon clerk, obviously Rigby, had nacho cheese all over his mouth. The two then stared at each other, as tension grew at the scene.

...

"...So you paying for your food, or what?"

It was just another day at the usual grind for Rigby. Thanks to the supernatural forces known as management, it was his turn to take the snack bar position. Only this time he had to do it, ALONE.

"Mordecai's going to be working with me with the house for today. Apparently, some kid threw a Frisbee right into Pop's room, and broke his window." Benson explained to Rigby. "I'm gonna need the extra hand, so you'll just have to take care of the snack bar. By yourself"

"W...what? Benson, I can't handle the snack bar alone. C'mon, can I just tag along with you and Mordecai." Rigby pleaded. He never was good working on his own. He somehow always seemed to screw up the job whenever he was alone... even more than when Mordecai was there. Despite Benson somewhat understanding why Rigby was acting so clingy about Mordecai, his responsibilities were first, and right now, he needed the blue jay's added assistance. So if his job requires having to take risks (such as leaving Rigby alone for a job) then so be it.

"Well then, I guess you'll just have to LEARN how to work on your own, then." Benson intimidated, hoping to scare his employee into complying. "Or you can consider yourself FIRED."

So there he was, stuck alone in a bar filled with deliciously sugary, salty, greasy, fried, and fatty snack foods that he couldn't eat. Without paying, anyways. He was desperately bored, as he didn't have his best friend to chat about pointless nonsense, or play Rock, Paper, Scissors for who would have to serve which customer. Nope, he was stuck all by himself, bored, and occasionally eating the food he was suppose to be serving. He couldn't help but what wonder why people would react so negatively about this. It's not like he ate half of their food or whatever. Well, except for that guy's nachos. And that other guy's hot dog. And... maybe that one lady's sundae.

Regardless, this day was better off than last Sunday. Y'know, the one with that insanely long meeting, and his fur getting all sticky with donut jelly. It took longer than he expected than to scrub his fur clean, a good two days if you want to know. He never got a break from Muscle Man's jokes, all involving his mom in some convoluted way, until he got the last bit of jelly out of his fur. There was a lot of crazy stuff that happened that week, but those are stories that are left for another day. Right now, he was just trying to keep himself mentally sane.

"Uhh... excuse me?" a voice said, probably another customer. Rigby looked up grudgingly, as he saw a face of someone he was... umm... to put it nicely, someone he was hoping he wouldn't see today.

"Excuse me? Are you in your shift right now?" Cocoa asked, trying to act sincere. She was wearing the same backpack from last Sunday, which either meant another ungodly meeting, or something else.

"Yeah. You're gonna buy something?" Rigby asked, somehow expecting he was gonna hate the e response. "A snack, maybe?"

"Not... exactly." The dog commented. "I really don't bother with concessions, thank you. I prefer much richer treats instead." The dog stated, somewhat in a conceded tone. " I just want a cup of hot chocolate. With milk, please."

Well, thankfully she didn't ask for a patch of Rigby's fur (for now), but the snack bar doesn't serve any hot chocolate at the time, God knows why she's trying to get something that one would buy at a coffee shop here at a snack bar, but whatever.

"Yeah, we don't serve hot chocolate. Sorry." Rigby monotonously said.

The dog looked disappointed. "Oh, well then I'll just a cup of black tea. With two spoonfuls of honey."

...black tea?

"What's... black tea?"

…

"Never mind." The dog moaned. "I'll just... sit over there." She continued, as she pointed towards one of the tables near the snack bar. Rigby didn't say, or do anything. He just watched Cocoa sit down, and pull out her lap top from her backpack. She also used headsets for her laptop, maybe to keep whatever she was looking at a secret. She then pulled out... a book. She just sat there, reading her book, listening to ...whatever she was listening to.

…

God, this is BORING. Will something just... happen already? Jesus, why did he have to be in this stupid snack bar alone?

…

What would happen if he were to heat everything in the microwave?

Before he could finish that thought, and possibly unleashing some ungodly abomination onto the park... again, he heard the roaring of motors that can only come from the park's trademark golf carts. The raccoon perked his ears up, as he looked over from the counter, with hopes a certain someone was coming back from supply shopping. Thankfully, it was.

"Hey Rigby," Mordecai chimed as he entered from the snack bar's back door. Finally, Rigby's painstakingly lonely shift was done. He can finally do all the important stuff he was planning for the day!

"Dude, you up to some serious ham boning? I've been practicing all week." The raccoon chimed enthusiastically, as he got ready to demonstrate his newfound ham boning mastery. However, he was surprised to see that Mordecai wasn't exactly as enthusiastic as he was about slapping himself in circles. Rigby wondered why, how can anyone hate ham boning?

"Nah man, nah." Mordecai chimed, "I'm kind of beat from looking at windows and window frames with Benson for the last two hours. It really was... awkward to say."

Awkward? Like... talking to Margaret, awkward? Or, just awkward awkward?

Mordecai happened to notice Cocoa, as she sat there and kept reading her book. He looked at her, as it seemed really funny to him that she was both reading a book, and using a computer at the same time.

"Hey Rigby, check it out. Your number one fan's back" Mordecai joked. Rigby knew exactly who he was referring to, and even though he wanted to avoid any contact with the possible stalker, he looked over the counter with the blue jay, just to amuse him. He really would rather be ham boning.

"Dude, don't start" Rigby moaned. "Can we just ham bone... please? I've been so bored, you don't even know." The raccoon continued, he really was sick of the constant bore-fests recently. Mordecai, however, was not having any ham boning today. Just... not today. It wasn't like he liked it anyways.

"No dude, no." The blue jay said, as he both metaphorically and literally laid his foot down. "It's lunch break, and I just wanna grab some grub right now at the coffee shop. You coming or not?"

Well, with this, Rigby had two choices; either accompany his friend in possibly another attempt to pick up a chick, or be stuck in the snack bar without being able to eat any of said snacks, all complete with a creepy "fangirl" pseudo stalking him. Only a complete moron wouldn't take the obvious choice. At least, in his opinion.

"Fine." Rigby grumbled, both out of frustration, and possible hunger. "But you're buying me a French Dip."

Mordecai nodded, as he somewhat relieved himself. "Hmph. Hmph. Okay then, let's head ou..."

"Did you say... coffee shop?" A voice interrupted. The two turned around, and as if it were magic, Cocoa was standing right up front of the counter, book in hand. Jesus, she was quick. And attentive too. It just made her look even creepier in Rigby's point of view. Mordecai, however, wasn't affected too much by this admit tingly creepy demonstration. He was in fact, intrigued, if one could say.

"Yeah..." the blue jay started. "We were just about to head out to one. Why? Did you... wanna come?" Mordecai finished, trying to be a bit courteous.

He wasn't, wasn't he?

Rigby really hoped he wasn't actually INVITING that dog to stalk them, was he?

...

Oh god, he was.

"Mordecai... can we... TALK for a bit" Rigby motioned towards Mordecai, emphasizing talk as best as he could. He then pulled Mordecai by the wing, as he decided it was time for him to finally give Mordecai his two cents.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Rigby asked bluntly. "You know I don't feel comfortable with... her around. She's been stalking me for the past few days, and you're gonna INVITE her over to stalk me some more?" Mordecai seemed... rather shock. He didn't know that Rigby was so against this girl.

"Dude, you don't know if she really was stalking you." Mordecai tried retorting "It could have been a hobo."

"Besides" he continued "She seems... nice."

... he's kidding, right?

"...Alright, fine. She's pretty creepy... a bit." Mordecai added, as he turned around to make sure Cocoa wasn't eavesdropping. "But dude, you shouldn't base people completely on first appearances. That's just wrong. Just think, imagine if I completely ignored you just after the first day we met."

...

...he really knew how to push Rigby's buttons, doesn't he?

"Fine." Rigby grumbled, arms still crossed. "But don't come crying to me if she starts collecting feathers that you molted. Got that?"

Mordecai just smiled, he did love getting his way just as much as Rigby did. "Yo Cocoa," he called, "You still coming to the shop with us or wha-"

Poof. There she was, backpack ready, standing next to Rigby. Very closely. UNCOMFORTABLY closely.

"Of course. Oh, and umm... don't worry about my expenses. I have those... under control."

And thus, Rigby's cycle of torment has officially begun. It's been a while since he's been properly tortured by the cruel goddess, Karma. Doesn't karma work if you do something wrong though? What has Rigby done that so deserves this sort of treatment? Well... besides the whole "constant unleashing of Eldritch Abominations due to simple situations going wrong."

...

Uhh... it should be about time to leave for the shop, right?

"Dude, help me decide. Should I still order the French Dip, or just go with a rib sandwich?" The raccoon asked. At first, he was certain on getting the rather classy (in the raccoon's perspective) French Dip, but suddenly, he had a craving for something more meatier. And... saucier... and stuff...

"Uhh... whatever you want, dude. Don't ask me." Mordecai responded, as he started considering his choices.

"Soo... can I have both?"

The three finally walked towards the counter of the shop, as the yellow clad robin noticed the familiar faces... and new unfamiliar face among them.

"Oh, hey guys." Margaret chirped. "What can I get for you?"

"Ummm... I guess a salad, and a French Dip. T...to go, please" The blue jay chirped, forgetting Rigby's request for both sandwiches. Most likely on purpose. Margaret took down the order, and passed it back to the kitchen.

"And... for your friend?" She asked, as she pointed a pen she held in her feathery hand towards Cocoa, startling the oblivious dog.

"Me?" She started, as she sweated a bit due to the sudden question "Uhhh... just a hot chocolate... maybe?"

Margaret also took this order, and turned in the order as before. As if it were made on a conveyor belt, the orders popped out; a boring looking salad, a somewhat decent looking cup filled with hot cocoa, and of course the savory looking French Dip. Even though he didn't have his rib sandwich, the free French Dip still looks delicious as ever. Plus it was free, so that always was good.

"Here you go guys," Margaret handed the bagged and boxed orders, following her business set delicacy of placing napkins in every to-go bag. Mordecai grabbed the bag, as Rigby tried to gesture towards Mordecai to let him eat his sandwich.

"Thank you very much, uhhh….ummmm…"

"Margaret." The robin finished Cocoa's thank-you. Well, after a quick thanks and goodbye, Rigby and Mordecai headed towards the front door, as they began to plan their elongated break. However, something about Margaret somewhat intrigued Cocoa, as she looked very intrigued, complete with a faint surprised look on her face.

"Margaret? Your name is… Margaret?" She asked, as she leaned towards the robin a bit. Margaret, feeling a bit uncomfortable, backed up for a bit so she could have her space.

"Yyyeah… why? Is there… something wrong?" Margaret asked, intriguing the dog more and more.

"Well, nothing wrong. But definitely something interesting." Cocoa said with utmost joy in her voice. Oh boy, this may take a while…

"Tell me, ummm… Margaret, have you ever heard of the story, Faust?"

"Umm… Faust? I'm not sure if I…"

" It was the story about a university professor who makes a contract with the Devil for a new life. It was considered to be the perfect dramatization of human desire and suffering, while connecting to various concepts of philosophies, politics, and religion.."

"Uhhh…. I uhhh…"

"I mention this because a character named Margaret was considered Faust's affection, as he slowly drew this innocent nun-like character closer and closer to the Devil. In fact, the author of the story, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, refers to Margaret as "Gretchen" after Faust has intercourse with him, showing how her purity was destroyed by her choices and desires. It's quite the amazing symbolism if I do say so myself."

"Look, I have to go do some stuff in the back, sooo…"

"Wait wait, I haven't gotten to the best part!" Cocoa insisted, cutting Margaret off right in discussion, as she clearly intruded in Margaret's breathing space. It's alright, Margaret. Rigby's been there before. If there was anything positive to come out of this, it was Mordecai's worried look as he witnessed the creepy obsessive scene playing out in front of him. He was probably thinking that his chances for getting with the robin were decimated, as he always did whenever the smallest bump would come across his way to Margaret. Or maybe how what she was saying was fitting with his situation, in some sick twisted way. It was pretty funny for Rigby, but at the same time, very scary, and somewhat disturbing.

…

"Dude, do you think that Julius Caesar guy really invented Caesar salad?" Rigby asked Mordecai, as he munched on his French dip.

"What? Naw dude." Mordecai answered, shoveling some food in his mouth… beak… whatever. "You'd think anyone would still be eating the food that the guy who made his horse a general? They just call it Caesar cause it sounds cool." Oh. This kind of made sense to Rigby. Like... maybe the crazy was transmitted from the food he ate. Whoa... crazy spreading food...

The moment those words were uttered from Mordecai's mouth, a spitting sound was heard from Cocoa's direction. The trio were eating at the snack bar tables in the park, so the sound was heard from the park, drawing unnecessary attention to the groundskeepers and "friend".

"Julius Caesar? The Roman emperor?" Cocoa questioned, giving Mordecai a bemused look.

"Yyyeeah." Rigby answered for his friend, feeling it necessary to defend his bro who WAS in the right. "You know, the horse guy?" Mordecai finished for him.

"… You mean Caligula?"

Huh?

"Son of Tiberius, member of the Judio-Claudian dynasty, and slowly deprived into an absolute tyrant? THAT Caligula?" She insisted very directly towards the two.

"Who?" Rigby asked, honestly bewildered. Mordecai said nothing, but he two seemed to be confused at the information being presented.

"…The guy who went insane and got killed by his senate. THAT Caligula."

…Oh yeah….

"Yeah yeah, I remember. It was that guy from the movie who danced naked in the rain." Rigby commented. He remembered watching that movie one night with Mordecai after drinking one too many sodas. Man was it a crazy trip.

"Oh yeah!" Mordecai exclaimed, re-connecting with his friend. "Dude, remember that scene where he like, slept with his horse? Man, that movie's crazy."

Cocoa seemed to be even more unamused than before. "You actually WATCHED the movie, Caligula?" She commented in a peeved sense.

"Well, yeah." Rigby responded, he seriously wondered what was wrong. "It's… really funny. In a weird sense."

"The movie Caligula is nothing more than perverted media induced schlock produced by low-lives." Cocoa ranted angrily, " It was nothing more than pornography that attempted to pass itself as a serious historical drama by slapping an incoherent plot of inaccurate events with, albeit impressive visuals and sceneries, phallic symbols and nudity slapped everywhere for every sad, pathetic, lonely men who so desperately need some Thespian porn to jerk off to."

…Ouch. That was… kind of hurtful.

…And this chick LIKES Rigby?

"Plus Malcolm McDowell wasn't even that hot as Caligula. Crazy yes, but hot, no."

…Lunch has never felt so awkward for the raccoon. He didn't even feel like eating his French dip anymore. He was just…

Umm…

It was indescribable for the raccoon, but yeah. He just didn't feel good. He can see Mordecai was experiencing the same inadequate feelings as Rigby did. He feels ya, bro. He feels ya.

"Oh, and if you're wondering, Caesar salad is named after Caesar Cardini, the inventor of the salad. Just… if you were wondering." Cocoa added a bit cheerfully, ironically after her bitter little rant.

"…So uhh… you wanna go to the arcade?"

…

At the neighborhood arcade, the trio of park workers (well, two workers, and one office grinder.) were trying their best to enjoy themselves with some goof old fashioned mindless violence. Rigby was easily bought over with the mere press of a button on the Strong Johns machine. He was in the middle of the arcade run, and man was he a pro at it. Well, as pro as you get through button mashing, but still! As he kept playing the game, he happened to notice that a certain beret toting dog stand right next to him. Right next to him. Right. Next to him.

"So, what game are you playing?" She asked, acting somewhat clueless. Rigby wanted to avoid another "word rage" from her, so he had to word his sayings very…. Very… carefully.

"It's… Strong Johns." He quietly spoke, trying to focus n his game. Yet, he can't. Cause the dog was getting closer to him.

"Oh? Strong Johns?" She asked innocently. "That sound very interesting. I didn't know you were into this sort of thing."

What did she… MEAN by that?

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I barely know you and all, but... I just had a gut feeling that your tastes were a tad bit different.

Well, YEAH. You kinda went into a little fit of rage over that movie. And can she GET any closer?

"Especially considering how small and cute looking you are." She continued.

Did she… just call him cute? And small? And ...was she getting even closer than before?

...J..just concentrate on the Strong Johns, Rigby. Concentrate...

"And your soft, soft fur…" Cocoa continued, stroking the raccoon for a bit.

Concentrate… concentrate… Ignore the creeper… ignore the stroking... maybe it's not that serious... just… focus on the game. You're losing, man. Just concentrate...

Concentrate…

Concentrate…

"Hey, I just realized. You're so warm and fluffy, I could use you as a pillow if I wanted. Isn't that pretty silly? Heh heh…"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. A loud arrangement of bleeps and bloops came from the machine after Rigby's character died. The screen cut to black, as only white text appeared.

GAME OVER, it read, as it flashed a couple of times to make it emphasized. Oh, the cruel, cruel, IRONY.

"Mordecai… can I TALK to you for a bit? ALONE." Rigby commented, emphasis on alone. Mordecai looked over Rigby, as the raccoon led him over to the men's bathroom. A fitting place to keep unwanted visitors from popping in. Well, at least she stayed put... looking confused, but she stayed put. Inside the one stall and one sink bathroom, Rigby began his grievances.

"Dude, I've had it." He started sternly "She's just too... eaghuhhh... She's just TOO weird, okay?"

Mordecai was looking towards another direction. "She's not that bad..." he mumbled quietly. That's a lie.

"Dude, you saw her today. And it's been what, just an hour and over a couple minutes?"

"Maybe she's just bad with people is all..." Mordecai continued to retort. Again, a lie.

"Dude, she started stroking me, and said she'd use me as a pillow if she wanted."

"She did?" The blue jay exclaimed.

"Yes." Rigby muttered, in the most serious tone recognizable. Well, as serious as Rigby tried to sound. He was totally serious, bros. Totally.

Silence fell, and was broken by Mordecai sighing, finally admitting defeat.

"Okay, you were right. She's unbearable." he muttered. This was one of the few times that Rigby didn't necessarily felt great about hearing he was right. Well, yeah, it still felt kind of awesome that he wasn't in the wrong, but still, he felt kind of crummy. Whatever...

"I mean, dude, did you see the way she creeped all over Margaret? What the H is Faust, anyways?" he said, feeling angry and flabbergasted. Rigby agreed, as he was glad he was seeing the truth.

"Dude, I KNEW that dog was bad news from the start! I KNEW IT!" Rigby told Mordecai, who at some extent agreed.

Come to think of it, when Rigby mentioned that he knew she was bad from day 1, he remembered some words that he heard the day she "introduced" herself.

"...I'll hold on to her business card, but other than that, I doubt you'll be seeing her working at the park..."

...Benson said this, right? He said something about not being "THAT desperate"... right?

"Mordecai, I just realized something. Didn't Benson say that he was gonna hire someone else than that dog?" Rigby asked him. He really couldn't believe this slipped his mind, as if it went into one ear and out the other. How did he forget this? I mean, really? Who can be THIS stupid?

...ummm... It wasn't suppose to sound that way. Moving on...

"Yeah..." Mordecai started cautiously "Yeah, I remember him telling me something looking for other guys to be the accountant or something..."

"Dude! Why didn't you say anything?" Rigby exclaimed. Seriously, why didn't he say anything? Just... why?

"Rigby, relax! I just thought it was a coincidence or something..." Mordecai said, trying to push the blame away. It just didn't make sense for Rigby. Why was she hired? Did she bribe Benson or something? Like... who would honestly hire THAT out of free will?

"Dude, this is just all too suspicious for me..." Rigby said, quietly.

"Hmph. Hmph. I think it's about time we ask Benson a couple of questions." Mordecai confidently stated, as he walked towards the door.

Yeah-yuh. Interrogation time...

**YEVBFYHDVSIBD AHB SHBAHSBIASBFISABFIDABS FH TOO MANY GODDAM WORDS!**

**I'm splitting this chapter into two parts. I'll get the next part uploaded VERY soon. As for now, please review with your honest opinion. It will be REALLY appreciated.**

**Little Author's Note: This was an especially fun chapter to write due to the _Caligula _reference. The movie really did have Malcolm McDowell starring as the crazed emperor himself. A fitting role, to be honest. The thing I'm really trying to push with Cocoa is that she is a huge nerd, and is proud of it, so that may explain why she acts a bit obnoxious when rambling about Faust and such (by the way, Faust is also a very amazing read. It'll take a while for readers to understand the bigger concepts, but my god it is amazing. This won't be the only time I will be referencing this story and movie quite often, so get used to dem names.) **

**Again, thank you for reading. That second part will be up soon.**


	6. Our Official Meeting Pt 2

**I'm so sorry that this was delayed. I really tried to get this in earlier, but I'm a STUPID BAKA GAIJIN (oh god I'm letting my inner weeaboo out too early). But, you have to admit, this is earlier than my other updates. So yeah, read it and review and stuff, and well, let's begin.**

She WHAT?" Benson exclaimed, honestly being surprised.

"Dude, I'm TELLING you, she just walked up, started talking to me for a bit, then she started... rubbing me or something...and all of a sudden, she started saying stuff about me being a... pillow or something!" Rigby frantically said, hoping that Benson won't just see it as crazy ranting. Course, it didn't help that Rigby was the only witness to the event, and well... him and Benson don't have "the best worker-boss relationship, but c'mon! The emotion in Rigby's voice should be enough. Course, Benson just looked at him funny, as he prompted towards the blue jay for confirmation on Rigby's claims. How unexpected.

"Mordecai? Is this true?" Benson stated, as he glared at the blue jay, trying to intimidate him into telling the truth. This worked... kind of...

"I mean... I didn't see it happen. Like, at all. But I'm taking Rigby's word for it. He doesn't seem like he's lying." Mordecai responded calmly yet nervously at the same time.

Yeah, cause y' know, saying you didn't see it happen is just the PERFECT way to convince your boss it's the truth. Rigby really should just punch Mordecai in the arm right now, but whatever. That's not important now. Right now, Benson was just looking at the two with a face that just screamed "You're full of it." He picked up a cell phone and called up Cocoa, requesting her presence.

"I swear, if you're lying about this Rigby, you're gonna be scrubbing the bathroom floor for a month." Benson intimidated. The prospect of scrubbing dirty bathroom floors wasn't a pleasant one for Rigby, and since he's not sure about how truthful Cocoa can be, considering her surprisingly poor social skills, things were looking bleak for the little raccoon. Mordecai also felt the imminent doom ahead for his friend, but he decided to stick it with him. Bros for life, right? The sound of a moped's motor was heard from outside, as Cocoa came running into the door, up the stairs and right inside the office. Dang. For a dog, she was pretty fast.

"You... wanted to see me, sir?" Cocoa meekly asked, catching her breath. Benson seemed a bit more lenient with Cocoa, losing his rough edges for a bit.

"I did, actually. Rigby hear says you "assaulted" him by cornering and umm... "petting" him. I want you to be honest with me, is this true?" The gumball machine said in a more cooler monotone than with Rigby. Cocoa just stayed silent for a bit, fiddling with her scarf, toying with her hair... fur... and took a couple of deep breaths.

"Umm.. yes, actually." The dog calmly said. Wait, did she actually say yes?

"I... did pet him for a bit, but I didn't know he was uncomfortable with it. I'm sorry."

...This isn't a dream, right? She really is just... admitting it, right?

...was Rigby actually... in the right?

...

Well... judging by the look on Benson's face, it seemed that this was the case. He looked at the dog a bit sternly, as he stood up, took a deep breath, and calmly, yet assertingly assessed the dog.

"You aren't lying, right?" Benson said, just to make sure this was the truth.

"No. It's the truth. I really did pet him. And for that I'm sorry."

"..."

"Look, I understand that you're trying to make friends with your co-workers, and that's okay. But listen, everyone has their boundaries, and you have to know when you're crossing them. Don't let this happen again, okay?" The gumball machine lectured the dog, kinda like a parent would to their kid. Only a bit more stricter.

"Yes sir, understood." Cocoa said, tilting her head as a sign of confirmation.

"Good." Benson added " Now as for you two, you still have some work to do. I'm gonna take the snack bar for this shift, while you guys help Skips and Pops with cleaning out the attic, alright?"

This was surreal. For once, Benson didn't automatically threaten the two to do a job. It was a dream come true, really. Maybe now, Rigby's finally getting some respect from his boss...

"Oh, umm... you don't mind if I... help them with this chore, right?" Cocoa asked. Scratch that last comment. This dream has become a nightmare.

"You promise you're not going to "assault" Rigby or any other of my employees?" Benson cautiously asked, raising his brow at the dog. The dog smiled faintly, looking quite happy.

"I promise, sir." Cocoa confidently responded. With this, Benson just motioned her out of the office, as she walked through the door. Okay, at first they were just gonna drop the whole "interrogation" thing, and just tattle on the dog, but now, the favoritism was really getting on both Mordecai and Rigby's nerves. Specifically Rigby. This was the dog that just said she would use him as a pillow, whatever that meant, completely geeked out over a name and a misconception, and now she's getting paired up with him to do actual work? That's it, serious interrogation time. And by the looks of things, Mordecai was on board with him as well.

"Benson, dude, we need to talk." Mordecai said in the most intimidating voice the bird could come up. It appeared ineffectual since Benson was just looking over some papers on his desk, not even giving the bird eye contact.

"We'll talk later. Right now, you two need to get to work." Benson said, not even once looking up to the two.

"Dude, why did you hire that chick? I thought you said you were looking for someone more "responsible" or something?" Rigby blurted, admit-tingly in an idiotic fashion. He should really watch what he says sometimes, as this caused Benson to glow a bit red in frustrations. The gum-balls were rattling already.

"Look, I have me reasons why I hired her, and I don't need to explain myself to you guys. Now get to work or you're FIRED." Benson angrily said, pointing towards the door. The threat of firing really wasn't as frightening as it used to be on their first day. Mordecai was determined to get to the bottom of this, so he wasn't going to budge. Such a bro Mordecai is, sometimes. Such a cool, cool, bro...

"Benson, remember a couple of weeks ago when that dog popped up to give us her business cards? You told me something that you weren't planning on even INTERVIEWING her. You were just gonna look online for some other professional guy." Mordecai kept persisting, and Benson actually started sweating a bit. Maybe he's actually gonna get to him...

"I... I just didn't find one, okay? And shouldn't you two be getting back to work?" Benson persisted. His nervousness was showing up a bit. It actually felt kind of nice to have some sort of dirt on Benson for once.

"Hey, with the kind of treatment he gives her, I wouldn't be surprised if she BRIBED him or something." Rigby smugly said to Mordecai. Mordecai smiled with Rigby, as Benson looked absolutely flabbergasted.

"WHAT? No, no! It's not like that at all! Look, just get back to work and-"

"Dude, do you think Mr. Malleard even knows she's working here? I mean, who could guess that such a weirdo pup is even hired in the first place?" Mordecai added. This was so wrong, but god dammit, it felt right. Especially since Mordecai was side-by-side by the raccoon. It was an awesome feeling, just being side by side with him... side by side... side by... side...

...huh? Oh, right, Benson and stuff. Speaking of Benson, he was on the verge of tears by know. His red shade went back to pink, as he sweated and sweated, blushing his glassy cheeks.

"I... I...

.

..I give up. Fine, I'll tell you why I hired her. But don't you DARE speak a word of this with anyone else, got it?"

Success.

"Got it." Mordecai said. Rigby just nodded his head, he really couldn't believe this just happened. Benson took a deep breath, as he turned around to the slackers he called "workers" ready to spill the beans about this whole accountant situation.

"Alright, so I already told you we've been having economic problems, right? It's just been stuff like property damage and funds." Benson started. So far, this was true, so Mordecai and Rigby were just gonna let him talk.

"Truth be told, it's pretty bad. And if Mr. Malleard was to find out, he'd have my flap for dinner." He said, monotonously. Rigby couldn't help but snort at the little flap comment. It was just too funny.

"Sorry, sorry. Keep going." Rigby said, as he finished his giggles.

"Riiiigght... anyways, I wanted to keep it under the radar from Mr. Malleard, so I was gonna hire a cheap guy to take care of it. Unfortunately, the cheapest guy I found online went for 300 bucks an hour."

"Whoa, 300 bucks an hour? JUST for crunching numbers on a keyboard?" Mordecai stated out of admirement. Maybe he should look into the accounting world.

"I know, right? It's way too damn expensive!" Benson spoke up, as he thought Mordecai was actually complaining, and not complimenting. "But anyways, after that day with the lawn and stuff, I decided to give that girl a call. And frankly, she seemed really nice."

This was getting interesting...

"She set up a time for an interview, and came right on time. She seemed really professional, and completely attentive. And to top it off, she's attending Dormwood University! Freaking DORMWOOD UNIVERSITY!"

Big deal. Rigby's heard of Dormwood. It's nothing more than a bunch of pretentious, rich, big wig's kids who all got their parents to pay just to go back to school. It's insane that anyone would pay to go back to school in the first place, but apparently people were suppose to respect these kids and their bottomless wallets? No thanks, Rigby will just stick to real heroes instead. Like maybe Chuck Norris, or that director dude with the explosions and stuff or whatever.

"She honestly seemed really promising, albeit a bit awkward to talk to, but still. The kid's got some promise in her. That and the only reason she applied was just to get some experience for her dream career, and well... I may have a bit of a soft spot for hard workers like that. Hint, hint."

Hint? Where?

"So like, she didn't bribe you or anything?" Mordecai asked . Benson pulled out a wallet, and opened it. It was empty, like Rigby's. HEY-OHH!

...yeah, that's not really that funny for the raccoon. Moving on...

"You can check my drawers if you want. There's not a penny in sight that she gave me to make me hire her." Benson said this with such backbone in his voice, only a really brain-dead idiot wouldn't believe him.

"And Mr. Malleard? Does he know about her?" Rigby asked, wondering what the answer would be.

"At first, no. But now, he's gonna come for a visit sometime soon just to meet her." He said this with a hint of disgust. Rigby never really met Mr. Malleard personally, so he doesn't know why Benson cringes every time he talks about him. Nevertheless, it seemed like Cocoa had a pretty clean alibi, so there's no reason to believe in any backstage brown-nosing or whatever. He felt... kind of bad... not so much remorse about his feelings toward her attitude, but just for believing that she cheated the system.

"Look, I'm sorry I wasn't as honest as I should have been." Benson apologized, "I'm not going to hold it against you if you guys want to avoid her or anything, but please, don't do anything to her that'll make her go overboard. Just… just try not to let her "annoying" bits get to you, okay? Our jobs ARE on the line y'know."

…

"Fine." Mordecai sighed, as he crossed his arms. "Like we have any choice."

"Y…yeah, what he said." Rigby added. Jesus, that was unnecessary and stupid comment. Stupid, STUPID comment

.

"Good." Benson said, as he stood up from his desk. "Now will you please GET BACK TO WORK?"

…

It was really strange how Rigby went from working at the snack bar in the beginning of the day, and suddenly transferred into a dusty old attic to clean up old stuff.. Hilarious, really, at least for someone other than Rigby. It wasn't too bad, really. Pops was there gushing over some old stuff he put away, Skips was moving heavy boxes which was admit tingly pretty to Rigby, and Mordecai… well… he was just there with him. And that's all that matters. Still though, there she was. Cocoa was just picking boxes up here and there to dust, and yet she stayed so close… so close to Rigby. He shouldn't be minding her, he really should just be dusting some of the old junk in the attic and whatnot, that and she really wasn't doing anything to him at the moment. But just… something about her STANDING right next to him just felt uncomfortable. He really couldn't go on like this. If he's going to be with tis dog for at least once a week, he better get everything straight.

"Uhh… Rigby…" Cocoa began to stutter, as she fiddled with her scarf again, "I uhhh… I just uhhh… ummm…"

"Look, I'll ask you this once: Do you have a thing for me? Yes or no?" Rigby asked bluntly. No more of this assuming and crap. Just get to the point. Mordecai heard Rigby's un-sugarcoated question, and socked the raccoon right in the shoulder. He always did this as a not-so-discrete way of telling him to shut up. It hurt Rigby for a bit, but he still wanted an answer. He didn't care if it'd get him killed, he wanted an answer.

"Welll… ummm…" Cocoa began to mumble again, blushing out of embarrassment. "Y…yes, actually."

Well, at least she was honest. Still didn't make Rigby feel any better.

"It's… it's hard to explain why I do, but I do." Cocoa said nervously, her pink blush becoming a red glow "I'm very sorry if I've been doing stuff that seemed… ummm… "assaulting" to you. I assure you, I'll try to control my more "impulsive" feelings if you get what I mean."

Did she REALLY have to put it as "impulsive"? It's like she had no idea how to comfort people AT ALL. Rigby bet that she'd probably tell a kid who was scared of the dark about stuff like "night snakes" or "nocturne demons" or whatever. BUT, he digresses.

"Just don't start petting me again, alright?" Rigby mumbled, as he started dusting some freaky statue and stuff.

"Awww, but I thought wittle Wigby LIKED being petted." Mordecai joked from a distance. His once reactionary emotions settled down to just plain clowning around, as since he heard his assumption of Cocoa having a "thing" for Rigby was right, he may as well play off it for a bit. This did not please Rigby. AT ALL.

"STOP. TALKING." Rigby announced, walking away from the bird and the dog. Cocoa just looked bemused, while Mordecai laughed at his temperamental friend's outburst.

"Is he… alright?" Cocoa asked, scratching her scruffy fur on her head.

"Nah, he's fine. Rigby's just sensitive like that. Right Rigby?" Mordecai teased. Oh, goddami-

"SHUT UP!." The raccoon called back.

…

"So lemme get this straight; This thing's a hundred percent legit, right?" Rigby asked Skips, as he held a giant blue crystal. It looked so real, and if it's back story's legit, it could be one of the coolest things on earth. Skips didn't seem too interested in the crystal, he's probably seen it a hundred times before. So he half-hazardly addressed the raccoon without really paying attention to him.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't drop that thing, alright?" Skips said in that gruff monotone of his. He was busy helping Pops move a giant box full of gramophones. (Don't ask.)

Whoa… Rigby was actually holding a piece of a skeleton pirate's treasure… He HAD to show Mordecai.

"Mordecai, Mordecai! Check out this cool crystal thingy. Skips said it was from some ghost-pirate treasure. Ain't it sweet?" Rigby enthusiastically showed off the crystal to the blue jay. The blue jay was obviously impressed by the shiny rock. How couldn't he? It was so shiny… and big… and blue…

"Woah…" Mordecai praised, "Skips, why didn't you show us this before?"

"Ehh. I've got plenty of them here in the attic. It really isn't that impressive." Skips shrugged, as he kept the box of gramophones up for Pops as the lollipop man began to investigate its old-timey contents, just like a kid would with a box full of toys.

"Don't break that thing, though" Skips warned cautiously, yet unenthusiastically. "If you do, it's gonna be five years of bad luck for you."

Rigby really couldn't understand why Skips was so uninterested in this big ol' shiny rock. Nor did he understand why Pops liked playing with those record players of his. Right now, all the raccoon and the blue jay were thinking about was the shiny bue crystal they saw upon them. It was so cool…

"Dude, y'know what this reminds me of?" Mordecai started.

"What dude?" Rigby asked back, curious of what he was gonna bring up.

"This TOTALLY reminds me of that keyboard you found."

"What, you mean The Power?"

"Yeah, yeah! You think it can do the stuff that The Power did? 80's metal rock and all?"

"It's worth a shot!" Rigby happily suggested, how he's been longing to find something he could use to send junk to the moon again. It felt kind of nice for Rigby to have Mordecai just fooling around with Rigby, trying to find something to waste their time on. He always felt kind of close to Mordecai whenever they slacked off, which is why he wanted to do so as often as possible. It's kind of hard to explain, you can only really FEEL it. No, seriously, just go and slack off with one of you're friends, you'll see what Rigby means.

No, REALLY. It wasn't anything crazy. You just… FEEL it.

…N…no, it wasn't just a "Rigby" thing. Just trust him on this one, dammit! Moving on…

Rigby started by fiddling with the crystal thing for a bit. He waved it over himself, shaking it like crazy, and started gnawing on it. Who knows? Maybe something cool happens if he chewed on it a bit. Sadly, that was not the case.

"Dude, stop doing that. I don't think that thing's magical or anything." Mordecai said, as he picked up the crystal rock thingy from the raccoon. Oh ye of little faith…

"Maybe you need a password to make it work." Rigby suggested "Oooh, oooh! Try saying rhubarb!"

"Rhubarb?" Mordecai questioned, raising an eyebrow toward his weirdo friend.

"Yeah, man! I saw it work on a TV show once!"

"And by TV show, you mean a cartoon right?"

"Maybe… it's still worth a shot!" Rigby retorted. Hey, anything could work, right? It looked like Mordecai was very doubting of Rigby's idea, probably thinking it was too stupid to even work. However, it looked like he succumbed to the idea, as he prepared himself to speak the "magic word"

"Rhubarb." Mordecai said flatly. Nothing happened. He probably didn't say it loud enough.

"Try saying it louder." Rigby said. Mordecai just gave him a cold stare, and proceeded to say it again.

"RHUBARB." Mordecai projected. Nothing happened again, except of course getting Pops', Skips' and Cocoa's attention. Maybe if Mordecai said it longer.

"Okay, try stretching it out. Just trust me on this one."

"Rigby, cmon…"

"Dude, just trust me. Look, maybe if I said it with you." Rigby suggested to Mordecai. It looked like Mordecai was getting tired of Rigby's suggestions. He really should just trust him on stuff like this. When has he ever been wrong? So unwillingly, Mordecai held the blue rock thing whatever between him and Rigby, as Rigby enthusiastically prepared himself to chant this magic word.

"RHUUUUBAAARRB." The two chanted. They then did it for a couple other times with no result until something faint caught their attention. Something shiny…

"Dude," Mordecai gasped, "I think this rock just glowed a bit."

…Oh my god, it's working! It's honestly working!

"Dude, dude! I saw it! I saw it!" Rigby exclaimed happily. Oh boy, 80's metal and bouncy castles, here we come! "C'mon, I wanna see if it happens again!"

"Okay, okay. Alright, one… two…"

"What are you two doing?" Cocoa interrupted. She had this face that looked like it was confused as all H. What? Hasn't she ever seen someone shouting at a shiny blue crystal…rock… mineral…type…thingy? From a pirates' treasures, by the way.

"Duh, what does it look like? We're trying to activate this crystal thingy's magic." Rigby said. What a stupid question to ask, anyways.

"Didn't you see it glow?" Mordecai questioned back enthusiastically. "It was all like… blue… and stuff. It was really cool."

"Glowing?" Cocoa remarked, "You mean it reflecting the sun's rays from outside?" The dog pointed towards the attic window, revealing the sun being obscured by some clouds. The clouds moved away, as rays of the sun hit the blue rock, causing it to glow. Well… Rigby just felt silly now. Still, it's no proof it's not magical, right?

"Alright, so maybe we were wrong about it glowing. Doesn't mean it isn't magical and stuff, right Mordecai?" Rigby asked.

"Well, It's really hard to deny something being magical if it's from skeleton pirates, right Skips?" Mordecai said, totally on board with Rigby now. The two turned to Skips, as he had his back turned to them, sorting out those old gramophones of Pops'.

"The skeleton pirate part is true." Skips bluntly said, "But I never said it had magical properties.

"Oh, but it is very beautiful, if I may add." Pops cheerfully added, as he dusted off some of his prized gramophones, polishing it with some elbow grease.

Well… Rigby's out of ideas. It's still pretty cool though. Cocoa didn't seem interested in "cool" things, however, she still had that face that was just confused as all heck. She swiped the rock from Mordecai's feathery hands, as she inspected the item. She shook it around like Rigby did, as it appeared that she came to a conclusion.

"You seriously believe that this rock was mystical? AND it was from ghost pirates?" She questioned roughly.

"Actually, it was _skeleton_ pirates, right Skips?" Rigby corrected the dog. Silly, silly Cocoa, skeletons aren't ghosts… right?

Cocoa just looked at the two with the blank stare she was still wearing before. It's almost as if she honestly didn't believe in pirates. OR crystal thingies. Heh, imagine that.

"You're serious, right? You… honestly believe in "skeleton" pirates, and all that other junk?" Cocoa asked. Again, a stupid question.

"Dude, don't you?" Mordecai added to the conversation, "I mean, with all the other stuff that happens, skeleton pirates don't seem too unreal."

"Oh, you mean all the "supernatural" events and creatures in history that have been proven fake in some way or shape? THAT kind of stuff?" Cocoa instigated to the two, trying to sound intimidating.

"Look, you haven't been here for too long," Rigby started, metaphorically trying to dowse Cocoa's flames. "Just trust us when we say it's not the craziest thing that could exist."

"Oh don't worry, I've heard all the rumors about the weird happenings of this park." Cocoa started, as she put down the blue rock. "And again, it can all be explained by logic and reason. You just haven't found it yet."

...she's kidding, right?

Skips couldn't help but over-hear the small conversation the three were having, and was interested on what the dog was suggesting. Pops on the other hand, looked as if he really wasn't paying attention. Probably too busy gushing all over this old junk.

"What's the matter? You don't believe in ghosts?" Sips asked the dog, "Cause y'know, I gots quite the amount of stories that might change your mind."

"Oh no, I'm fine Mr... um... Skips, was it?" Cocoa responded, rather smugly if Rigby would add. "I'm certain you have many experiences in your life, but I don't need more fairy-tales to put in my collection of fallacies, thank you very much."

"Excuse me?" Skips asked roughly. It seemed like this dog wasn't gonna budge any time soon. Okay, this was getting ridiculous.

"Dude, look." Mordecai started, getting rather irritated to this dog's smart-ass attitude, just as Rigby does. "You really just don't get where we're coming from. If you were to just see the amount of S we go through, you'll get what I mean."

After Mordecai said this, it was evident that Cocoa too was getting frustrated from the assurances the guys were giving her. It was pretty obvious due to the sour looking face she wore now. It wrinkled kind of like a raisin did. Speaking of raisins, Rigby could go for a snack right about now. He's obviously not doing anything important here. Cocoa then looked straight at the group of men, and then just sighed, losing her more angry demeanor.

"Just forget it," She muttered, "Forget I said anything."

...Well... someone's being rather bi-polar today...

...so what is she just gonna act like nothing happened? She just went to a corner, picking up and putting down boxes of books and stuff. Why on earth did she even get so upset in the first place?

"Uhh... hey, you okay?" Mordecai asked the dog, saving the raccoon from asking said question.

"No, no. It's fine... it's nothing, really." Cocoa mumbled, with her back towards Mordecai. Rigby isn't exactly an expert at this stuff, but he's pretty sure she was lying right there.

"It wasn't nothing a couple of minutes ago..." Rigby mumbled. The raccoon noticed the dog grimaced for a bit, and sighed once again.

"It's fine, really. I just overreacted, is all..." She re-instated, her hands were trembling for a bit. Probably cause of anger.

"Okay then..." Mordecai cautiously said, as he walked back to a pillar of boxes. "Hey, don't polish that junk TOO hard, okay?" He joked with Cocoa, the dog didn't respond. She looked very annoyed.

"Yeah, whatever…" she grumbled to herself. Whatever she was angry at, it wasn't Rigby's problem. As long as she kept her space, she could be blowing steam out of her ears as much as she wanted.

…

It's been a really stressful shift, today. Rigby had to make sure he didn't drop some valuable possession while he was dusting it (It didn't help he has a horrible case of butterfingers, by the way) , and with Skips and Pops in the same room with him, he couldn't exactly take a break anytime soon. So in short, it was a pain. That Cocoa didn't make it any easier either. Yeah, she kept her distance from the raccoon, but she's been muttering about this "hallucinogenic nonsense", whatever that meant, ever since that little outbreak she had earlier. Mordecai didn't seem to mind, hell, he was too busy cracking jokes and chatting it up with Rigby to even pay attention to the dog. Skips and Pops were also in their own personal businesses, so really, Rigby was the only guy who had a problem with her right now. Whether this was good or bad was is up to the perceiver. As far as Rigby was concerned, she seemed to just get even more frustrated as she dusted each statue or gizmo. Well, it was the last couple of minutes of his shift, and Skips decided to just wind down the day with an awesome story, so Rigby may as well try to enjoy himself.

"So anyways," Skips finished to narrate, as he held a peculiar dragon statue in his hand, "I finally caught up with my team, and that's how I got this thing."

The statue in question was a pale marble one, the kind those Greek people used for their statues or something. It was so cool looking. The dragon itself was like one of those long Asian kind ones, y'know, the ones from those kung-fu movies and stuff. It just looked so fierce, so deadly, so… cool… who knew all this cool junk was up here in the attic? Rigby just HAD to hold it in his hands.

"Dude... can I touch it?" Rigby asked, just like a kid would when he wants to see a shiny new action figure. Skips seemed to be cautious with the statue as he handed it to Rigby, but Rigby couldn't help swipe it from the yeti's massive hands. It was just so... attracting...

"Don't drop it." Skips sternly alerted him, "Bad things will happen if it's broken."

"Relax man. I got this." Rigby assured Skips, he didn't have anything to worry about, rest assured. Rigby heard a quick scoff from Cocoa, but he ignored it. This statue was too amazing to pay attention to... whatever you would consider her to be.

"Dude, Mordecai. Look at this thing. Look at this thing, and tell me it's NOT cool." Rigby prompted to Mordecai, holding it up to the bird's face. He didn't seem to be too interested in it, unlike that blue rock thing.

"It's... kind of cool. I guess..." He said apathetically. "Hey Skips, didn't you say this thing was cursed?"

"It's not exactly "cursed", but it was magically tampered with." Skips clarified. "And be careful with it, Rigby!"

He was just holding it up towards Mordecai... jeez... if he wasn't so damn tall, Rigby wouldn't have to hold it up so high. Or maybe if Rigby really did inherit in them cowboy boots...

"Pfft. Magically tampered... what, you mean like it being hexed? Enchanted? Possessed? Huh?' Cocoa scoffed again.

"Not believing any of it, are you?" Skips asked the dog. He didn't seem bothered by the dog at all. Like a boss, in Rigby's opinion. "It's fine. You just had to see it to believe it."

With this said, Cocoa's face just glowed red with anger. She started reminding Rigby of Benson at this point, minus the rattling. It looked like she was gonna blow up, honestly.

Then... out of nowhere... she just swiped the statue out of Rigby's hands...

"Hey! Give that back!" He shrieked. Who was she to take stuff from him? His mom? The dog didn't respond, she just held the statue in her hand, turning it around, looking for something apparently. Rather... carelessly...

"You... alright there?" Mordecai asked the dog, with a bit more interest than before, "You're looking pretty red..."

"Mr. Skips said this was supposedly magically tampered with, right?" Cocoa angrily grumbled, as she flipped the statue over, inspecting the pedestal for... whatever...

"Yeah..." Skips remarked, " ...and?"

"Shouldn't there be some sort of SIGN of it's temperament? Like a symbol, or a burn mark, a scratch or something?" The dog was so clueless, she didn't notice she was walking towards a ship in a bottle (Probably Pop's). She could trip on it and drop the statue! Or worse, drop it and cause something horrible to happen. Like having to pay for it!

"Dude, watch you're hands! You're gonna drop it!" Rigby warned, it's the end of the work day, and he really doesn't want to spend it fighting off a potential monster. That and the statue was too cool to just have it broken by some random woman.

"Relax, I just want to find some evidence for this thing." She mumbled back to the raccoon. Rigby noticed that Skips was also hoping the dog wouldn't drop the statue either, while as Mordecai and Pops just tilted their heads at the scene that's happening.

"No, really, watch where your going. You might slip and drop it" Skips also sternly warned the dog. Kind of cool that Rigby and Skips were on the same page. The dog turned her head, and kind of like a smug child would, raised her index finger and spoke to them with her eyes closed.

"Oh will you two just relax," Cocoa said, as she stepped closer and close to the ship in a bottle. "I'm not gonna drop this stupid statue, and I'm most certainly not going to slip and fall! What do you think I am? ClumsYY?"

As predicted, the dog slipped herself on the bottle, toppled a bit backwards, and fell flat on her face. The statue, on the other hand was sent flying, spinning, and ultimately-

SMASH!1!

...crash. The statue was now into small pieces. Oh, great...

"I told you not to drop it." Skips said. He soon was silenced, as the house started... rumbling... It felt kind of like a small earthquake, causing some of the boxes to fall down. Rigby was... starting to get a bit nervous, the last time he felt a rumbling like this was when that psycho woman Susan went all King Kong on the park...

"Uhhh... Skips? How exactly was this statue "magically tampered?"" Pops asked, with Mordecai also looking at the yeti for an answer. Unsurprisingly, Cocoa was too... the idiot...

A loud, pulsing growl was heard, interrupting Skips' explanation. Soon, a red, intense mist escaped from the shattered pieces of the once dragon statue. It was clouding the attic, reaching every corner at the attic. Everyone was looking around, the mist was very obscuring, threating even. Especially towards Rigby... oh God... this and the rumbling was just... just...

"FOOLISH CHILDREN!" A voice shouted, it sounded similar to the growl from earlier. "DUE TO YOUR IGNORANCE, YOU FREED ME FROM MY PRISON, ALLOWING ME TO WRECK HAVOK YET AGAIN!"

...

"NOW, ME SHALL START MY CONQUEST, AS ME PLANNED TO YET AGAIN. AND, BECAUSE ME HATE YOU, ME SHALL LEAVE YOU ALL HOMELESS, BY DESTROYING YOUR SHACK. HAVE FUN BEING ME SLAVES!"

The mist broke through the attic window, as it started taking some sort of solid form. It started circling, circling, circling, as it formed a ring like shape. To fit the scenario, black storm clouds filled the air, as the rumbling caused cracks in the park. As clichéd as it sounds, lightning began striking the park, as another ear-shattering growl came from the area. Everyone just watched as the misty ring became more solid and solid, sprouting legs, arms, red scales, a tail, and a fully formed dragon head, complete with those whisker things. The final product was a dark red dragon, a mane made of fire, and green, hideous eyes. It... it looked like it came straight out of a video game, and the scenery wasn't helping.

"The statue was possessed by a dragon, wasn't it?" Cocoa said frightfully, standing up from the ground.

"Mmm Hmm."

The dragon, who Rigby's just gonna dub "Volvagia" now, turned around and whipped his tail right on the attic, smashing through the roof. Rigby barely dodged that thing, he was starting to hyperventilate, how couldn't he?

"Oh man, did you see that?" Rigby frighteningly pointed towards "Volvagia" to Mordecai, he just stared in awe at the beast.

"Dude, this is just... whoa..." Mordecai stammered, he saw as the beast roared, breathing fire into the sky, and snatching random people and placing them into stone cages that it made itself. Pops stayed silent, as he too stared in awe. Rigby shook the blue jay, hoping he could snap the bird out of his trance. Stupid Mordecai... just get up already! As he did, the dragon "Volgaria" smashed its tail sideways, smacking everyone out onto the park.

"THERE YOU IS!" The dragon shouted "NOW GET IN YOUR CAGES!"

The dragon slammed its fist on the ground, causing stone bars to raise. Skips smashed the bars, as he dragged Pops away from the blood-thirsty beast. Mordecai seemed to snap out of his admiration of the beast, as he dragged the panicking raccoon with him, holding him like a football again. Cocoa ran behind him, holding her beret to keep it from flying. This was just... horrible...

Rigby noticed that Benson was watching everything that was happening. He was getting just... furious...

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?" He screamed as he slammed out onto the porch, gumballs-a-shakin' "AND WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?"

Rigby just stared as his boss got picked up by "Volvagia", and placed into one of those stone cages. He put his cage right next to another that housed Muscleman and High Five Ghost, the two were apparently playing poker with each other, trying to pass the time.

"What?" Muscleman asked, as Benson just turned back to Rigby and Mordecai.

"IF YOU TWO ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, I SWEAR, I'M GONNA-"

Rigby wasn't paying attention right now, he's too busy not trying to be eaten by a freaking dragon. Hopefully Skips had an answer... he better have an answer...

"Dude, Skips, how do we stop this thing?" Mordecai asked frantically, putting Rigby down. BAM. Another slam from "Volvagia", another stone cage averted. The house looks completely broken from the top now that Rigby notices...

"Hmmm... it's been a while since I saw this guy," Skips remarked. He had this stoic look on his face, so you know he meant business right now. "I can't remember correctly, but it had something to do with blue…"

Blue? Like, just the color blue, or something called blue?

…

…Maybe Mordecai was the blue thing they need…

The raccoon didn't have time to think, as he avoided yet another of "Volvagia's" stone cage thingies. The same couldn't be said for Skips. He and Pops got locked into the cage, right in front of the raccoon's eyes! Great, the only guy who knows how to take down the thing just got trapped by it! God, this day sucks!

"Skips!" Both Mordecai and Rigby cried out.

"I'm fine." The yeti called back, Pops was just absent right now, "You'll have to figure this one on your own. Remember, something blue!"

The rumblings began to intensify, as "Volvagia" roared more and more. Cocoa managed to reach the two, panting, she probably isn't used to running this much.

"Please tell me you guys have some idea on stopping this thing" She panted.

Umm….

"Something… blue?" Mordecai muttered, rubbing his head.

"WHAT?"

KA-RASH! The dragon slammed its fist onto the earth, causing a large crack on the grounds. Rigby barely avoided that one, he almost let his tail get caught by the slam. Was Mordecai alright? Rigby hasn't been keeping up with the blue jay's status, but he's still in one piece, right? Oh, oh good, he is. He's right there next to him, oh thank God. Cocoa was alright too, so that's fine…

…Wait, she's doing something right now. She's reaching for a stick that was on the ground, she's standing up, and is she… is she trying to fight the dragon?

"S…stay back, you. I…I know fencing, you know!" That dog was holding the stick like a sword. It really looked like she was trying to menace the beast. It's… pretty funny….

"EH? WHAT IS THIS?" The dragon, err I mean "Volvagia" bellowed, "A STICK? HOW CONSIDERATE!"

The dragon grabbed the stick from Cocoa's hands, and started using it like a toothpick. Heh heh, if Rigby or anybody wasn't in mortal danger right now, this would be hilarious. Cocoa just seemed shocked, and started tailing back. Wait, tailing back?

"Hey! Hey, wait a minute, where are you going? Aren't you gonna help us?" Mordecai frantically called out to the dog. She was hiding under one of the snack bar's tables, trembling like a scared puppy dog.

"I tried, didn't I?" The dog called out, "I'm no genius, so YOU try and stop it!"

"Dude, you're. USELESS." Rigby called out to the dog. Freaking idiot… it's her fault this was all happening. Now what are they suppose to do?

KA-RASH!

"Volvagia" smashed the roof again, causing a bunch of boxes to fall from it, right next to the two idiot heroes. They all had… those blue crystal thingies in them.

Wait a minute… blue crystal thingies, Blue crystal thingies, BLUE crystals… BLUE…

…it's… worth a shot, isn't it? Rigby picked up one of the blue thingies, and got ready to throw it right at the dragon.

"Wait, Rigby, are you… are you gonna toss that thing?" Mordecai said, as he grabbed Rigby's arm, stopping him from tossing the thing.

"It's blue, right? And Skips said we needed to use something blue, right?"

"Yeah but, what if it doesn't work?" The blue jay asked again, and with the shaky voice he had, it was pretty obvious he was worrying for his dire life.

"Dude, the only blue things here are you, and these rock thingies. You wanna toss yourself to that dragon, be my guest."

…

Mordecai picked up one of the blue rocks, and got himself ready to throw it.

"You better hope this works, Rigby." Mordecai sighed, "On three, one… two… three!"

The two launched their rocks, and as it hit "Volvagia", it started burning. The areas on the dragon that the rocks hit looked like it became… marble…

"AAAAARRRHHHHHHH!" It shrieked, reaching it's arms on the spots that were hit "IS THIS… IS THIS BLUE CRYSTALS? WHERE DID YOU GET THESE?"

"Dude, it's working!" Rigby happily exclaimed.

"Quick, throw another one!"

The two kept throwing the rocks, landing each on to "Volvagia" , it started resubliming more and more like the statue it once was. Logically, this was making no sense, but screw it, it's working! One by one, the stones were being launched, and slowly but surely, the dragon became stone. Until, it eventually fell.

"RAAAAAAAAAARRRGGHH!" "Volvagia" shrieked out of pure agonizing pain "THIS… IS NOT OVER… ME SHALL COME BACK SOME DAY. UNTIL THEN, I CURSE THEE! CURSE THEEEEEE!"

The dragon let out one last pulverizing growl, as blue flames encompassed it. The flames went away, leaving nothing but the original statue that once trapped it. The park was reverting back to normal, kind of like magic. All the cracks came back, the clouds cleared away, hell, the house reassembled itself! If every monster encounter was like this, Rigby wouldn't mind having to go through this on a daily basis. All of the stone cages disintegrated, as everyone was set free. The park crew all reunited with Mordecai and Rigby, probably to give the two their well deserved praise. Hey, where's that Cocoa chick anyways? It was her fault.

"YOU TWO!" Benson screamed, glowing red with anger. He began stomping away, towards the two. M…maybe he's not that angry… i…it wasn't their fault this time right?

"HOW CAN I TRUST YOU TWO TO DO YOUR OWN JOBS, WHEN THE SIMPLEST OF TASKS LIKE CLEANING THE ATTIC, CAN'T BE DONE WITHOUT HAVING A FREAKING DRAGON SPAWNING AND WRECKING THE PARK?"

"Look, Benson we…"

"NO! NOT TODAY! I'M NOT HEARING ANY OF IT TODAY, MORDECAI. CAUSE Y'KNOW WHAT? I'VE. HAD IT!"

"Benson, really, if you just listen to us for a bit, we…"

"SHUT IT, RIGBY!"

…gulp.

"YOU TWO REALLY PUSHED THE LINE TODAY! AS OF NOW, CONSIDER YOURSELVES FIRE-"

"W…wait!" A female voice called out. It was Cocoa, running towards the group, panting and wheezing and everything. Benson quickly lost his red tone, and turned around to see the dog.

"Huh? Cocoa? How did you-"

"Please sir, just… please, let me explain myself." The dog interrupted her boss, catching him by surprise.

"Sir, please don't fire these two. They didn't do anything wrong, at all. They just happened to get caught up in the situation. That's all."

"Wha… What are you saying?" Benson asked, with a somewhat confounded face.

Cocoa just sighed, and looked down on the ground. "I'm saying that… I was the one that got the dragon out… and really, if I didn't interfere with their work… none of this… would have happened."

…You have to admit, for a creepy, bi-polar, know-it-all dog, at least she's honest.

Benson had a very unemotional look on his face, as he took a deep breath in and out. He then replaced his unemotional face with one of concern. It looked like he was about to give a lecture. Question is, to who? Benson looked at Skips, most likely for a sign that she really was telling the truth. Skips gave this silent head nod, which Rigby was guessing was more than enough for the gumball machine. He turned back to the dog, and sighed one more time.

"I need you to understand something," the gumball started, "This isn't a game, this isn't some sort of club, and this certainly isn't a fraternity. This is work, and this is a workspace. You can't just interrupt people when they're working, especially when you have free time, okay?"

"Yes sir…" She muttered

"If you're offering yourself to do work, then you're gonna do work. Not mess around with my employees and cause freaking dragons to sprout out of nowhere."

"Y…yes sir…"

"You're a college student accountant, you're not a full time employee, so I'm not gonna go easy on you if you screw up. Start taking your responsibilities seriously from now on, okay?"

"Yes sir…" She muttered one last time. Her head had sunken so low, her mouth was in her mouth. She just seemed so embarrassed, it was actually kinda sad. Benson took another deep breath, as he dusted himself off.

"Good," He said in a tired and groggy voice. "Now get back to work… all of you…"

And so everyone was parting to their own ways, probably to finish up the last bits of their job. Damn, the attic looked completely repaired, maybe all the boxes re-arranged themselves. Benson came and walked right up to him and Mordecai, he looked kind of sad.

"Hey, you two." he called out. Was he… talking to us?

"Sorry about almost firing you guys. I'll try not to jump to conclusions too often" He said while rubbing his head, he looked like he was about to get fired himself, ironically enough, "Y'know, if it makes it up to you guys, I'll let you be in charge of Cocoa's punishment."

Pfft. If he thinks he can buy himself out for almost firing Rigby and Mordecai for something they didn't even remotely cause, he's got another thing comi- wait, what did he just say? "Being in charge of Cocoa's punishment."? Like, Rigby could tell her to mow the lawn for a week or something? He could have management power like Benson does?

"Dude, for reals? Like, I can act like a boss to her and stuff? For reals for reals?"

"Don't go overboard on it either, Rigby." Benson stated back, he seems a bit regressive towards Rigby's more positive attitude. "Are you sure you two are responsible enough to handle this?"

"Well, when you put it that wa-"

"O..of course we can, Benson. You've got nothing to worry about, right Rigby?" Mordecai rudely interrupted Rigby. Y'know, normally Rigby would just call out Mordecai on the spot for doing something so inconsiderate like this, (and no, he's totally not overreacting.) but since they were gonna get some free executive power, it didn't really matter in comparison. Oh boy! Decisions, decisions…

It looked like Benson was somewhat regretting his decision, but then again, he was the boss., he should have seen this a mile coming. He called for Cocoa to come over where Mordecai and Rigby were at, seemingly snapping her out of her self-induced shame trance.

"Is there… something you wanted to show me, sir?" Cocoa meekly stated, she looked so self-loathing, you'd honestly feel sorry for her. Then again, you'd remember that she was the one that basically caused a red fire breathing dragon to unleash havoc on a suburban park. Now should Rigby make her a lady-butler for a week, or just a temp?

"Cocoa, I figured that in order for you to learn how important it is to take your responsibilities seriously, I'm letting the guys decide what to do with you as punishment." Benson said, in a more serious tone than before, "So guys, what's it gonna be?"

…Uhh… Well, now that he's asking it on the spot, Rigby's not too sure anymore…

"I'm… not sure, really" Rigby said, scratching his chin just cause it's cool. "Mordecai, any ideas?"

"Uhhh… I dunno… hey Cocoa, what do you hate to do the most?" Mordecai asked. Why didn't Rigby think of this?

"Uhhh… paying the check at the restaurant?" Cocoa cautiously asked, "Why…?"

"That's what you're gonna do for us, then. For a week." Oohh, smart move Mordecai. Rigby's gonna have to put that down for future reference.

"Wh-wha? But I.. I"

"You DID say you were all super rich and stuff, right" Mordecai teased.

"Yes, but I-"

"So a couple of bills won't be too big of a deal, right?"

"…Uhhh"

"Alright, it's settled" Benson said, he probably wanted to head straight back into his office, it's a surprise he's so cool about letting both him and Mordecai push around his latest star-child, even if it is just for a week. "Cocoa, you heard what they say. So get to it and stuff. If you need me, which I hope you don't, I'll be in my office."

And so the gumball machine walked off to the house, probably locking himself up again. It's been a tough day today, and it just downright blowed, but it had a pretty sick way to end. Irony, how he couldn't eat a single piece of food during his shift, and now, he could get anything and everything practically free! Oh, of course, Mordecai was here to share the glory, so it just made it even sweeter. Rigby should celebrate someway right now, but how?

"So uhh… Mordecai and whatsyourface, you guys down to some Chinese food or something?"

**Le Author's Note: **

**BA-JESUS CHRIST, DID I DELAY THIS BITCH. I know I said I'd get it out soon, but w/e. This is technically earlier than usual updates. As you can tell, I referenced quite a few things in this chapter. I'm not gonna mention anything specific, but you should be able to tell them from the mere mention of it. Trust me, you'll get it. This chapter wasn't as fun to write as the last one (in fact I hated it), as you can tell, I tried to write some action in this scene, but it just came out feeling awkward for me, and also kind of rushed. On the positive side, this chapter (or second part of the previous chapter) marks the end of the "original concept" I had for A.T.D.T.D.N.N, so now I can finally experiment with this thing. Needless to say, I think some of you will find some of the next chapters a bit… interesting. (Nothing sexual, though. Sorry if that's a disappointment.) **

**(BTW: Someone said these things are too long. I agree. Unfortunately, I CAN'T STOP WRITING )**

**- Mr. P**


	7. Strange Things and a Bleak Lighthouse

**Huguehehdguegshudguhusdhsgd, I'm so tired right now. -_- Fjucking Skyrim and shit. Uhhh… Nothing much to say for now, just read and enjoy as always. Anyways, I think I'll just keep this short. Enjoy the show.**

Oh man… this stuff was so good…

How did Rigby NOT know about this Chinese place, before? He just wanted to go to the Chinese fast food join the always ordered take out from, but this? The food here is just… AWESOME! And to think, it was just around the corner from the coffee shop, with its Chinese looking ornaments and lanterns and junk sticking out like a sore thumb from the rest of the district. And this food… oh my God, this food was BOMB. It's like, if someone took all the distinct flavors in the world, spicy, sour, sweet, salty, uhhh… other words that start with an S, (Savory, maybe? Dunno, don't care.), and just used it all in one piece of chicken Oh man, he should serve himself some more! It seemed like Mordecai wasn't pulling any stops on his eating, too. This is like, what, the third time he's ordered something and he's just gobbling it down like crazy. And why shouldn't he? It's all free! Oh crap, looks like Rigby's all done with his serving. Time to reload. For the 4th time…

"Hey, yo! Waiter!" Rigby called to a nearby waiter, "Lemme get some more of this… sweetly… sour… spice chicken stuff!"

"Sir, you've already been served for four times. Don't you think you've had enou-"

"Oh, and some more of those noodle things too. C'mon, I ain't got all day!"

"…I'll be right back with your order, sir." The waiter said, somewhat grudgingly. Hey, it's his job to serve food to customers, NOT to nag to them about "eating too much"

"You're not full yet?" Cocoa asked out of the blue, "Like, seriously. You're still hungry after eating four full meals?"

"Uhhh... yeah. What, got a problem with it?"

"Oh, no, no. It's just that... well... I guess it was curiosity. I'm guessing you two are just binging today so whatever."

"Oh no, no." Mordecai interrupted, as he had one more bite from some fish thing he ordered, "Rigby and I eat like this all the time. It's nothing new."

"Wh...what? But... then... how do you..."

"How do we what?" Rigby asked, feeling a bit intimidated by the dogs constant fragmented sentences. Don't ask why, it just didn't fit with her.

"How exactly do you two stay so… thin… if you guys eat this much daily?"

…That's actually a good question…

"High metabolism, maybe?" Rigby suggested, probably the most obvious answer.

"Really? Well uhh… that's quite a… fast metabolism you two have then, heheh…"

"Uhh… yeah… metabolism…"

…

…

"Okay, look, I'm really sorry about the whole dragon incident today, okay? I mean... uhh... I'm just... Uhhh…"

"What, you're sorry for almost getting us fired?" Rigby facetiously remarked. Y'know, as a joke. Bam. A punch to the arm by Mordecai. What, is he actually DEFENDING her?

"Dude…knock it off. You're not making it any better for any of us." Mordecai whispered bitterly to Rigby. But… but…

"It was just a joke, man. YOU knock it off!"

"No, YOU knock it off!"

"No, YOU knock it off" Rigby whispered back. Hopefully that dog didn't notice their little "discussion" between the two. The worst thing that could happen right now is that this becomes a three-way whisper shout contest.

"It's alright, you two." Cocoa interrupted. Oh, dammit. "I can honestly take any heat I that I deserve."

"See? Even she's alright with it! And she's the one that almost got us fire-OWW!" Rigby shrieked for a bit due to another punch to the shoulder. How can Mordecai hit so hard, anyways? It's like his hands are brass knuckles… feathery brass knuckles…

The waiter came back, with a fresh plate of savory smelling food on his serving dish. He put it down on Rigby's table, and Rigby almost instantly started chowing down. Again, this was the first time he's been here, so you can't blame him if he's pigging out for a bit.

Mordecai just rolled his eyes at him. "You're so shameless, man, you know that?" He commented. Yeah, yeah, whatever… back to the food.

"Right… uhh… as I was saying, I really am sorry for causing you all this trouble." Cocoa continued meekly, "I hope that this is the least I can do to make it up to you two. I really am sorry…"

"Hey, as long as you're paying for this meal, I don't mind at all, heh heh…" Mordecai nervously chuckled. See, this is why Rigby's better at telling jokes than Mordecai ever will, at least in Rigby's opinion. He's just too damn nervous sometimes. Whatever…

"Oh, uhuh... ummm... yeah..." Cocoa just said, nervously. Now look who's making it "worse"...

"Yeah... hey, what exactly happened back there, anyways? Like, one minute you were all fine and normal , and the next you were all like mad and stuff, and you were all like "I need to find a sign on this S!." Seriously, did something happen? " Mordecai began to question, as he too began to succumb to hunger and commenced eating some of the food on the table... RIGBY's food on the table... mooching jerk...

Cocoa just stayed silent, her face started glowing red. It's obvious Mordecai struck a nerve with that remark, but was she angry or embarrassed? She started fiddling with her scarf again, it really looked like she wanted to just... melt from that scenario. Heh heh... a dog melting... it's funny cause it's impossible... or is it?

"Uhhh... let's just say... I really hate mysteries." Cocoa responded. Wait, huh?

"What?" Mordecai asked immediately after, obviously as dumbfounded as Rigby is.

"Mysteries... y'know, stuff that apparently can't be explained, magic related junk... y'know..."

"..."

"Ugh... never mind..." Cocoa regretfully remarked, she started looking down on the floor, probably staring at the floor. Y'know, seeing her like this, all sad and regretful and stuff, kinda makes Rigby feel kind of bad for her. Then again, she almost got him fired, but... y'know, she kinda had this weird vibe coming from her. Like, she was being really sincere about it, y'know, in a way that just seems too damn nice to be true.

Well, whatever. It's her problem, not his. Is there a to-go menu for this place? Seriously, it's so great... 

Jesus Christ, it's so quiet. Why isn't anyone talking?

"So like, what, you're not into mystery movies or something?" Rigby asked, trying to strike up conversation. Cause seriously, eating in silence is like the worse.

"N..No! Not like that! I just... I guess I just like answers more than anything." Cocoa said, glowing redder by the second.

"Huh?" 

"Okay, like... you ever seen those TV specials about "alien crop circles" or "haunted graveyards" and stuff?" Cocoa asked again, as she too partook in Rigby's food. Damn moochers...

"Oh yeah!" Rigby exclaimed, "I see those all the time. It's like aliens building those pyramids and stuff. Oh man, those are so cool..."

"Uhhh... yeah... Well, anyways, I mention those because I honestly find them absolutely ridiculous. I mean, ghost, magic, wizards, it's cool to think and imagine about them in fantasy stuff, but if you truthfully believe in them, then your sanity and or intelligence must be in question."

"...You calling me stupid?" Rigby asked, feeling insulted.

"Wha-? No, no! It's just... well"

"Cause y'know, lady, those TV specials have a HECKTON more evidence than any bigheaded scientist could ever come up with!"

Mordecai quickly scoffed, "Pfft, you would say that, wouldn't you." He added.

"Dude, I'm just saying..."

"Yeah, yeah. Hold it for a bit. Let the dog talk for a bit. So like, what were you saying?" He asked. Two-timing, good for nothing...

"Riiight... Well... I'm just trying to say, I got... kinda... sort of... maybe a little bit carried away. I mean, you have to see it through my perspective. An "enchanted" sculpture just sound ludicrous, doesn't it? And that yeti fellow's back-story didn't help at all, either."

"But then you tripped and dropped it like Rigby here would, and almost set the entire park on fire." Mordecai facetiously added. Why did he have to use Rigby as an insult? He's right there next to him! Hello?

"...Well... there's a first time for everything, right? I guess... I was just wrong... Still though, it could have just been a rare occasion. There's always a logical explanation for these things."

"The body of a dog, and the mind of a mule. You're every guy's dream gal, aren't you?" Mordecai joked, which admittingly was funny enough to get a chuckle or two out of Rigby. Cocoa scowled, obviously not amused.

"And you're every woman's passionate desire with your lanky body, Mr. blue jay." She bitterly replied.

"Hey, chill man. It was just a joke." Mordecai countered, cool and laid back as usual. "Y'know, I got to admit, when I first saw you, I thought you were just some creeper who got lucky with a job. But after today, I think you're really just trying too hard to make friends aren't you?"

...

"Look, let's just try to forget about today, and start all over again. Is that cool with you?" Mordecai asked.

"Is it alright with him?" Cocoa asked back, nodding towards Rigby. Don't drag him into the conversation, you're the one with the creeper crush on him...

"Don't mind Rigby. He's just a baby sometimes." Mordecai half-hazardly answered. "You should have totally seen him when we first met. He was all nervous and fidgety and stuff, and-"

"STOP TALKING." Rigby outbursted. He said he wasn't gonna mention that to anyone else... no good, lying...

Cocoa giggled quietly, "I see..." she added, "Well then, I guess I'll start. My name's Cocoa Berendo. Nice to meet you Mr..."

"Mordecai." He said, stretching his hand to shake hers, "And this guy right next to me is my personal fanboy. Say hi, dude."

"...Rigby." He grumbled, stretching his paw to shake hers as well. "Name's Rigby."

"Very well then, Mr. Mordecai and Mr. Rigby. I'm looking forward to working with you two in the future."

"And I'm looking forward for a whole week of pre-paid meals." Mordecai said, as he cleaned his teeth with a toothpick. Cocoa's faint smile disappeared, being replaced with a glum frown.

"Right. Are you two done yet? Cause believe it or not, I have plans..."

...

"Christ... sixty dollars with tax for just one meal. You two are gonna drive me bankrupt by the end of the week at this rate..."

"Hey, you gotta learn how to be responsible, right?" Mordecai playfully joked as he and Rigby walked toward the golf cart. "Oh, and don't try any funny stuff with Rigby when I'm around. I've got my eye on you, y'hear."

"...I'll remember that. Well then, farewell."

With that, the dog placed her aviator's helmet and goggles, and ran off with her white scooter. Mordecai started up the engine of the golf cart, which sounded gunkier than usual, and started making his way to the park.

"You gotta admit, Rigby" Mordecai started, "For someone who's really bad with people, she can be kind of nice, right?"

"Don't... talk to me." Rigby said, cross armed and back towards the blue jay. He really thinks that after backing him up all the way through, and then just go soft on him at the last minute, that Rigby's just gonna roll with it. Nuh-uh, no way. Not gonna happen.

"Dude, c'mon." He added "Like I said, she won't be around for too long, and besides all her quirks, she seems kinda cool. Look, the least you can do is not make it even worse on her by acting like a complete baby."

"I'm not acting like a baby!" Rigby countered, "Dude, she admitted she had an "attraction" to me, right after giving me some of the freakiest pick-up lines I've ever heard! I THINK I have the right to be angry about this whole thing."

Mordecai sighed, as if he was in the right, "Dude, all I'm saying is just don't be a total turd with her. You don't have to be super-friendly, and you don't even have to be okay with everything she says. Just... just act like she's me. Y'know, just be you to her, like you'd be you to me, okay?"

...

That voice…

That soft, monotone-y, easy little voice he uses to get his way through. If there was anything Rigby had to admit Mordecai had a special talent for, is that when he wants to, he can use this voice he had to just… make Rigby do anything the blue jay wanted. Even when they were kids, he had that sickingly condescending voice that just manipulated Rigby sometimes… and lord knows, he uses it so damn well sometimes…

"Fine... I'll TRY." Rigby reluctantly complied. Mordecai instantly smiled after hearing that.

"Thanks man." He said, "Hey, wanna rent a movie real quick? We're a couple of blocks away from the store."

"Totally!" Rigby pepped up, Mordecai really knows how to make him happy too damn well, doesn't he. "Oh, but make sure you get a horror movie. Y'know, something REALLY scary."

Mordecai just lifted a brow, "You SURE you can handle it?" He asked, "I mean, with the whole British taxi thing, and stuff..."

"Dude... get me the SCARIEST movie you know. I can totally handle it."

"Alriiight..." Mordecai said, "Just don't say that I didn't warn you..."

...

...

...

A voice could be heard from the background… if you can call a… gray… grassy… plain… a background.

Not a sound could be heard, neither a rustle, nor a crunch… all… except for a voice…

The raccoon could hear this voice, and he certainly was… bemused by it.

He thought he was alone… he thought that only he and the gray sky and plain were here in this little sphere… but no…

Apparently, there was also whatever was making this voice. Was it a friend? Was it a foe? Rigby HAS to know…

He took one step on the gray grass, feeling the bristles under his feet. He has to admit, it's a bit creepy, seeing the usually blue sky all gray and gloomy, and the grass that's usually green is this trippy gray color, too. Hell, even Rigby himself was gray, instead of his normal brown color. He felt so uneasy… like he's being watched… but that's crazy… only he and the voice were in this plain…

Another step, Rigby wandered for a bit, holding onto his dear tail to make sure no random… whatever can get a hold of it…

This grass felt so… dead… but it's not dead… is it? Just… gray…

The raccoon wandered a bit more, as he saw nothing but gray, nothing but himself…

Eventually, Rigby reached a strange… structure of sorts… it was a tower.

But, it's not a stone tower. Like, y'know, the ones you think about with like archers and stuff. It looked more like an old fashioned lighthouse… it looked crooked, it looked ancient, but it also looked so… inviting…

The light wasn't working, but it's still somewhat inspiring… it's hard to explain, but it just felt so familiar…

There was even a beach. Huh, funny, first this place was nothing but gray grass and sky, but now there's this lighthouse and beach, Hell, even a gray ocean. Everything… gray…

There's that voice again… it's a lot stronger than before… Rigby could even make out some words…

"Rig… by…" it said. H… hey, that's his name…

"Rig…by… come… in…" the voice whispered again…

In here? In… the lighthouse…?

"Yes... please... co...me... i...in... "

Rigby grabbed the door-handle, it's cold iron sent shivers down his spine. He pushed open the door, and inside revealed black… not gray… but black.

The black was actually a corridor… columns, a carpet, what a weird design for a lighthouse, heh heh…

There were even some torches on the side, they had white fire though. It was still hard to see everything in this lighthouse, but the white fire helped a little… somehow…

Rigby just kept walking… the voice, now a wisp… just kept drawing Rigby in…

The corridor stopped. There was a couple of steps that lead to some sort of throne. And on it… was some figure… it was tall, hooded, and just like this crazy lighthouse, he was so strange, yet… so familiar…

The figure noticed Rigby. Oh man, was this guy the voice all along? He certainly seemed fitting for the bill…

The figure reached his hand… h…he must have wanted a hand shake…

"Please… Rigby… take my hand..."

Rigby just stood there, trembling. His tail was all frizzing, and he just felt horrible. And yet… he stretched his hand towards the figure...

It wasn't even his decision either… it was like his body was just doing it on its own. His hand was trembling, and yet it stretched…

The figure's hand was feathery… gray… but feathery…

And once he saw this hand… Rigby just felt… better… not... perfectly fine... but... just... relaxed...

"That's right... come closer... just a little... " The figure whispered, that voice was so chilling, but soothing... it made Rigby's heart skip a beat, yet at the same time, feel so fine... feel so... normal...

"Come on... a little bit closer... don't be afraid... just... grab my hand..." The figure keeps saying... his voice kept compelling Rigby... he stood still... and finally grabbed the figure's hand.

The two were holding each other... the only breathing things in this black and white world... it was so... so...

...

Was this… was this guy…

...

The figure pulled Rigby right in, and started suffocating him. Rigby wanted to run, to scream... but he couldn't... he just stood there... and stayed silent... and every second... he grew tired... and tired... and tired... and...

...

Ugghhh... What... happened?

Where... where AM I?

Rigby opened his meek little eyes again, only to realize something horrible. He was in a dark room, with white torches. His snout started feeling a bit itchy, so he reached his arm to scratch it.

Only... he couldn't. He moved his right arm, but... it was almost like it was... tied down...

Oh... oh god...

Rigby tried moving his left arm... it too was tied down...

His foot... tied down... his other foot... tied down... his tail... literally stripped down! He can't move, he could only rustle... It barely hit him that he was restrained down on a table... just like that... that...

"My my... you certainly are one easy to fool... aren't you... Mr. Rigby?"

It was that voice again... could... could it be that figure? A door opened up, revealing the hooded character again. He walked down, and approached Rigby... he started... stroking him. Rigby's blood started to curdle...

"Oh, poor little raccoon... alone and afraid in a gray, gray, world. Like mice to a mousetrap, you fell right for it. All I had to do was just call your name... didn't I? Heh heh, now... shall we begin?"

Be... begin what?

The figure started... removing something from his hands... it... it looked like gloves... those feathery... familiar hands... turned out to be robotic ones. Cold, gear operating, robotic ones...

The figure didn't even remove his hood, "I like remaining hidden from my specimens when operating..." He said...

Specimens...? Operations...? Oh man... ohmanohmanohman...

Rigby's heart's just going crazy right now... this is just so... so...

He's not gonna... gonna... gonna...

"Now, stay silent." He said, he pulled a circular saw from his table. And started it. The buzzing... oh God, the buzzing... "I noticed my specimens feel... less pain by keeping their mouths shut..."

Oh God... no. Please... no... Not this way... not this way... not this way... No... stay back... STaY BaCK... STAY BACK... NO... NO... NO...

"STAY BAACK!" Rigby screamed, he fell right off his trampoline, with his blanket in hand...

Oh... oh good. It was just a dream... just a bad dream...

Man though, that lighthouse, that figure, even all the gray stuff. It felt so familiar...

...Rigby's not dreaming anymore, right? He's awake right now... right?

Is... is Mordecai here? Maybe Rigby should check his bed... just a quick peek...

He stood up, and quietly took steps towards Mordecai's bed. He grabbed the mattress, moved the sheet, ugh... the pressure's killing him... he's gonna sweat like crazy at this rate...

Rigby pulled the sheet... and oh. Oh good. Mordecai's right there. Sleeping in his bed, snoring like an old man. Yeesh, and he says Rigby's got a snoring problem. Freaking pot calling the kettle black...

Well uh... Rigby should be getting back to sleep right now, huh. He went back to his trampoline, gathered some dirty laundry around him, making a typical dog pile, and just... trying to fall asleep...

...

Why did he watch that movie...? Now he remembers why that figure in his dream felt so damn familiar, it was from that stupid film Mordecai rented. Who on eath rents a movie about sociopathic cyborgs harvesting people for organs? Who watches that trash?

...Uhh...

Well... whatever... That's not important right now... right now, Rigby's just stuck awake in this dark room... with nothing to do for a couple of hours...

That nightmare sure did take a lot of energy out of him... Rigby's feeling kind of hungry, actually...

Maybe he should get a midnight snack...

Rigby whisk-fully got out of his dirty laundry nest, and cautiously tip-toe'd out from the room. Just a quick ran down the stairs, and into the kitchen, and he'd hit the motherload.

Thank god Benson re-filled the fridge. There was fresh bread, milk, cheese, meats, bacon, condiments of all colors and bottles. Oh boy, this'll be one hell of a snack tonight...

Now let's see, a peanut butter jelly sandwich, a couple of hunks of cheese here and there, and hell, how bout just a plain old "soda" to wash it down.

Now, with his hefty peanut butter jelly and cheese (DON'T JUDGE HIM.) sandwich, he can finally start eating in peace.

...

CREEEEEEEKK.

A creek came from the stairs. Is... is anyone there?

...It's best if Rigby stays silent... maybe whoever was up there will just... leave.

...

Is he gone?

SLAM

"D'AAAGH! STAY BACK, I HAVE A SANDWICH AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!" Rigby shrieked out, something somewhat instinctive in his nature...

"Really? A sandwich? Christ, Rigby, you're really just a ransom waiting to happen, aren't you" A playful voice joked. Turned out, it was Mordecai of all people, and not a cyborg organ harvester.

"Wha- I...I thought you were sleeping?" Rigby asked him. Seriously, he was snoring and everything...

"I was. But the you woke me up. You're horrible for sneaking around at midnight, man." Mordecai groaned. "Now let's see... peanut butter jelly and cheese sandwich, soda, trying to use said sandwich as a weapon, you had nightmares about a horror movie, didn't you?"

...

"N...no. I'm just totally hungry, man." Rigby said. No, really, it wasn't about no dream or anything... J...just a bro with some munchies and stuff...

"Uhuh, and you also pulled my sheet for the H of it too, huh?" Mordecai replied. He... knew about that?

"Wait, you were awake all this time?"

"Well, it's kind of hard staying awake after your best friend screams bloody horror out of nowhere, huh." Mordecai sarcastically said, as he took a seat right next to the raccoon. Oh... oh man... this... this is embarrassing...

"Fine. You got me. Yes, I was scared by a stupid dream by that STUPID movie you rented, okay? Next time, don't rent stuff like that... it's just... wrong..."

"Pfft. That movie was nothing. You should see the sequel, it's like ten times gorier."

"There's a sequel? Who... who makes a sequel to... THAT? And who'd watch it, at that?"

"D'aaaw, but you said you could totally handle anything I dish out, didn't you?" Mordecai said with that stupid baby voice he uses to piss Rigby off...

"WELL MAYBE I WAS WRONG, THEN. I can't be right ALL the time, right?" Rigby bursted out

"That's implying you're ever right. And dude, keep your voice down, you don't want to wake Pops up." Mordecai scolded. Hmph. Yeah well, whatever man... Mordecai just sighed.

"Look Rigby, just... finish your sandwich, and come back to bed. We have work tomorrow, remember?"

...

"Yeah, yeah... I'll be right there..." Rigby muttered, tired and trying to eat his food.

...

Rigby felt full, the soda helped him chill out for a bit, but he still felt kind of freaked out a little. He opened his room door, and saw Mordecai just... sitting on his trampoline.

"You done?" He asked.

"Yeah... just fine..."

Mordecai smiled, and patted the trampoline bed. This felt... kind of strange... but... whatever... He lied his head down, and Mordecai just dumped a ton of dirty clothes right on him.

"HEY!" He shrieked,

"What, don't you like sleeping like this?" Mordecai taunted. Jerk... He stood up, and walked towards his bed, and covered himself with his sheet. Wait, he's still awake...

"Crap, I still can't sleep... what am I suppose to do?" Rigby pleaded. Mordecai yawned, acting like he never heard his question. "Just do what you always do... think you're a tough guy, or something like that..."

...

... Fine.

Rigby sighed, and as he closed his eyes, Rigby began to chant to himself, "I'm a tough guy... I'm a tough guy... I'm a tough guy... I'm a tough guy..."

...

...

They say these streets are tough, but I'm TOUGHER.

This is the great Riggerson's catch-phrase. Everyone knows this. No one messes with it. He also likes going by the name "Fists" instead of Riggerson. Just to spite the scum...

He recently got a report on an investigation happening at a nearby lighthouse. Something about disappearing teens that then show up missing some organs. Sounds like nothing too unusual for Riggerson. He's seen worse.

Crazy thing is, some people say that the lighthouse is still home to someone. There's been reports of a hooded figure sighting around said lighthouse. How nobody thought that this person to be a suspect is just BEYOND stupid in Riggerson's opinion.

Ah well, at least Riggerson's on the case now. He parked his awesome British taxi right in front of the lighthouse, as he gazed it in its twisted glory.

It looked like any typical B-Movie location, all it needed was some thunder and lightning in the background to look more clichéd than it is. It was colorless... pale and gray, but all thorny and twisty too. Looks like a pretty cozy place to stay...

He opened the doors to it, as he saw a corridor of nothing but torches and regal-like carpets. Heh, looks like someone's stuck in the past.

Riggerson closed the doors, and hung his hat and raincoat on a nearby rack. Heck, the rack had a sign on it saying: "Please, Place your Hat and Coat Here"

...Huh, apparently someone's been expecting him. Seems pretty courteous for a sociopath...

"Y'know, I gots to appreciate your sense of hospitality. It's not every day that the scumbag I'm trying to take down let's me in his house, and puts up a nice place to put my coat up." Riggerson taunted, always vigilant in case something sprang from the darkness.

The raccoon walked up past the throne, and through another oh-so-scary looking door. The room past it was nothing but a giant spiral staircase, with the bottom floor containing a nice cozy fireplace, bookcase, a comfy chair, and hell, a table with some refreshments on it. Another sign was on the plate of the refreshments: "Please, Help Yourself." it said. Well, if ya insist...

Riggerson quickly snatched one of the hors d'oeuvres, specifically a cracker with a little hunk of cheese on it, and gobbled it down. He was sure to himself this maggot didn't have the guts to try to poison Riggerson. There's a reason why he's also called "The Iron Stomach" around the underworld, and it certainly ain't no cyborg body transplant nonsense either.

"You certainly know hows to house a guest, for a sociopath at least. That don't mean I ain't gonna come get ya either." Riggerson kept joking towards the darkness.

Riggerson noticed a figure walking up the stairs, and enter the room at the end of them. Stupid scum must be getting itself ready to spring up a trap on Riggerson at this rate. Un-beknownst to him, Riggerson's got a couple of tricks up his sleeve too. He rolled up his sleeves to elbow height, tightened his red tie just to look all professional-like, and heck, he light himself a quick cigarette with the fireplace, and began his way up the steps...

"It's funny," Riggerson started, going up towards the spiraling stairs. "Some of the guys down at the station was asking me if I was scared about coming here and possibly getting myself killed."

He walked up and up, pitter and patter. A rustling could be heard. It definitely wasn't Riggerson's tail.

"I told them, I ain't scared of nobody. Especially some poor sap with some weird fetish for organ harvestin' " Riggerson continued, He could feel himself getting closer and closer by the second.

The rustle kept going, there may have been a quick chuckle in it too.

"And then they says, "But Riggerson, this guy literally maims his victims and rips 'em to shreds! You tellin' me you ain't even scared to save your tail?" Riggerson kept going on, he finally reached the door the figure entered.

"And you wanna know what I told them?" Riggerson said, as he pulled open the wooden doors. The rustling was dead, and replaced with only the sound of Riggerson's footsteps. The room was empty, vast, nothing but dust specks, and a couple of sheets. As expected, something fell down right behind Riggerson, and tried slashing a dagger right at him. Sucker thinks he's sneaky, but Riggerson's sneakier. He moved quickly away from the attacker, and with a smug little grin, he uttered these words:

"I told them, the name's FISTS!"

Snap! A right jab towards the hooded figure. The figure caught the fist right in his robotic hand, before it could smack him in the face. He held onto it tight... alright, the guy's got skills. Let's see him deal with Riggerson's left jab.

BAM! His left first throbbing right at the figure. Again, the figure stopped it with his other hand. Both Riggerson's fists were pretty much trapped.. Hmph, to be honest, Riggerson wasn't expecting this. Oh well, it's always more fun when the criminals aren't complete pushovers.

"Not bad, guy. You gots me in a corner here. What else can ya do?" Riggerson taunted. The figure didn't budge. Maybe if he gave him a quick sweep off his feet...

Whoosh! His right leg sent sweeping at the figure's own feet. But the figure actually stpped it. He blocked it with his own feet. Is that... is that even... possible?

"Whoa, aren't YOU full of surprises?" Riggerson playfully joked. The figure finally responded with a swift chortle, but his hood continued to obscure his face.

"Oh, but you two are quite an interesting specimen yourself, aren't you Mr. Riggerson?" He spoke coldly.

"Hey! It's Fists to you!"

"Oh, my bad Mr. "Fists." Funny, I thought your real name was Rigby." The figure muttered once again. W...wait... did he say... Rigby?

"Uhhh... I think you're gettin' me confused with someone else. I got no idea who this "Rigby" is." He said, still a bit confused about this "Rigby" The figure just chuckled again, his grip on Riggerson's fists was becoming tighter and tighter...

"Oh no, it's quite all right. I seem to recall that you also had a strange quirk similar to someone I knew. You even had a nickname because of it. Isn't that right, "One-Cheek Wonder?"

Uh...uh... is he... talking... about the whole...

N...never mind, Riggerson. Just keep the mind intact. These psychos like playing mind games on you. Just remember what you learned all these years on the force...

"Now, who exactly was it that told me about that again?" The figure sadistically asked himself, "Ah, yes. A little bird told me about it. A certain... _blue jay_... Mordecai, was it?"

!

I... I...

...

"You're messin' with the wrong cop." Riggerson gruffly spoke, he quickly swept his left arm right at the figure's unsuspecting leg, hoping to catch him off guard. It certainly looked like the case...

BAM.

The figure slipped Riggerson, taking him off ground. This... this never happens before... NEVER.

The figure quickly spun Riggerson around a bit, and grabbed him with a Full Nelson Hold. Riggerson couldn't move. He couldn't budge his arms, couldn't squirm his legs, nothing. He was at the figure's full content. This... this never happened...in... in Rigby's dreams... Rigby's always supposed to win... ALWAYS...

The figure just kept chuckling. "My my, the great Riggerson put down by a simple grab of the arms. It's almost as if he's not as trained as lead to believe, eh?"

Uh... uhh... I...

"Tsk tsk, even in your dreams, you always come out helpless, don't you?"

H... helpless? I... I...

"Especially alone. Ah, don't you wish your friends just came bursting through that door, ready to save you, like in real life?"

...

"Oh, but you don't have any friends, don't you? You're practically all alone in this dark, dark world... You're family members all moved on with their lives, and your best friend... heh, well... the least I talk about him, the better. I'll just let you figure it out... on your own."

M... Mordecai? I... I... I...

"Yes... such a sad, worthless little creature, in my control. Come, I want to show you something... something very special..."

Rigby didn't have a choice. He was restrained, and now, he was walking towards a wall of the room, as the figure kept holding him by his back... Was... was this even the same figure from the last dream? At least there, he was just a copy from the horror movie's villain. Now... he certainly looks like him... but... he just acts so... so...

He kept walking... heading towards the wall. Everything behind was falling apart, breaking down into a void. Now Rigby was REALLY sweating... what's happening with this dream? It was just suppose to be one of Rigby's many tough guy "Riggerson" fantasies. But now...

He wanted to wake up, get out, ESCAPE from this horrible experience. But no. He just... couldn't... They finally reached the wall, in which a rectangular hole grew inside it. There was nothing visible through it... there was nothing to be seen. Everything behind Rigby just fell into the void, and with the figure restraining him, Rigby just had no other choice than to enter the other dark hallway in front of him.

"Come now," The figure assured, "Just jump right in. Here, I'll do it for you..."

Wait, what is he doing now?

Oh god, he let go of Rigby only to push him towards the void.

Maybe now he could escape, but no. He went tumbling toward it, again, as if his body was acting on its own...

VWOOSH

Now, Rigby was out of the crumbling room, only to escape to an even stranger room. It was dark. Dark and gloomy. It had this really depressing vibe coming from it, and that didn't help Rigby's already agitated senses.

The sky was black. The floor was checkered, black and white going on and on forever. Geometric figures, and crumbling pieces of matter floated around. He was also surrounded by hollow, crumbling, but really futuristic abstract buildings. It all looked so bleak... so... dead... an yet... it all seemed so nostalgic. All so... recognizable.

He... has to get out. He has to wake up. But he can't He just...

Rigby felt the figure re-appear behind him again, restraining him in that Full Nelson Hold again. Won't he just leave Rigby alone?

"My poor, sweet little Rigby, " The figure quietly spoke. Rigby could just feel the sadistic smile crawling up the figure's non-existing face. "You're probably wondering why this place is so cold... alone... dead... perhaps even worthless..."

"I... I uh..."

"Shhhhh..." The figure shushed Rigby. "I don't want a sound coming out of your mouth. Not for now, at least."

"..."

"You'd be surprised, little Rigby... this place and you have so much in common. You just don't know it yet..."

"..."

"Here, I shall show you one final thing before I let you go..."

A rumbling went through the checkered floor. Soon, he saw as the floor slowly grew down in this geometric pattern. Tile upon tile, it grew this hole that just seemed so psychedelic. Black square, white square, black square, white... it kept going, and going, until only the black floor that he and the figure stood upon was left. The floor then floated down, as they left the hole, into another black sky void. The platform fell down into this... octagon shaped place. Surrounding it was this reflecting chrome walls... like a mirror, only ten times more darker... And on this structure, there were these figures... cold gray figures. They looked... very... very similar to things he's seen before...

...Oh god. These figures, they were his friends... people he knew... people he recognized...

Skips... Benson... Pops... Muscle Man... High Five's... hell, there was even Don... Margaret... Eileen... and...

...Mordecai.

"Ah, so you see them, do you? Marvels, aren't they. Made of stone, yet radiating such powerful personal auras... as if they had a soul, no?"

They all had scared, yet lifeless faces. Some were even on the verge of crying. But... why...? And... why wasn't there one for him either? Oh man... he just couldn't breathe...

Mordecai... oh... God... Mordecai...

"I can feel your fear, little Rigby." The figure spoke. "Don't worry, you're confused now, but you'll feel revealed... when the time comes... IF... the time comes..."

"Oh... man... Mordecai... guys..."

"Shhhhhhhh... don't say anything. For now... just observe" The figure spoke, so coldly, yet warmly...

Rigby looked in sheer horror... nothing... nothing could be said. He tried to look at his reflection on the walls, and there too... was nothing... literally... nothing...

"One more thing, Rigby" The figure spoke softly. His cold essence was just millimeters away from Rigby's ear, his icy breath flowed through it...

"Do me a favor... and wake up..."

!

Rigby's eyes busted open. He was back in his room, on his trampoline bed. Back with Mordecai... a blue... snoring Mordecai...

He's never felt so glad to see Mordecai and his blue self in his life. God, what a nightmare that was...

Usually, Rigby's nightmares were just a onetime thing that faded away so quickly... but this one...

Every detail... every last... damn nook... it was all engraved in his little mind. The figure's cold voice, the dark and empty city, the crumbling room from the lighthouse, and the octagon room... everything...

Rigby just... can't sleep. He just can't. He would rather stay awake for a whole night than to go through all that again... but even then... he felt cold...

Under all these clothes, he still felt so cold... so... scarred...

Maybe... if he were just to... stand next to someone... maybe he'd feel better.

Maybe with Mordecai... just to remind him it was all just a dream. And nothing more.

Rigby crawled out of his nest of dirty clothes, and rushed straight to Mordecai's bed. He went under the sheet, covered himself, and felt a bit... better...

It was just a dream... but it felt so real... maybe it was his brain freaking out to that horror movie, but at the same time... it was just so lifelike...

"Huh? Rigby? Is that you?" Mordecai asked as he yawned. Oh crap...

"Y...yeah. And?"

"What are you... doing in my bed?"

"N...nothing... just feels a lot warmer here is all..."

"Lemme guess... another bad dream about that movie?"

...

"Yeah... just another dream about the movie..."

"Ughhh..." Mordecai groaned, "You are worse than a five year old."

He turned his back on the raccoon, maybe trying to fall asleep. Good old Mordecai... never giving Rigby a break...

"Can I... stay here, then?" Rigby asked, "Just for the night. I promise not to wake you up."

Rigby could feel Mordecai stiffening up. This has been the first time Rigby asked to do this, so I guess it's... understandable he'd have this reaction.

"Fine." Mordecai grumbled. "But don't blame me if Benson harps on you today..."

"Thanks dude."

"Yeah yeah, whatever..."

Mordecai stayed on his side. He fell asleep instantly. Rigby never felts so comfortable sleeping in his life.

...

Rigby moved a bit closer to make contact to Mordecai's feathery back. He curled his tail a little, just so it won't bother Mordecai's sleep. His feathers felt so warm... so assuring.. especially after that horrible experience...

... Maybe now, Rigby can finally have some sleep. At least now, he knows that if anything bad happens... at least Mordecai's right next to him...

...

**Well uh, here we are at last. I can safely say that this chapter is a vast majority to the suck that was last chapter. As you can tell, I'm trying to drown out Cocoa a bit since I felt like she was taking up too much space in Rigby's story. **

**You can consider this as the "turn" sort to speak. You'll see why in the later chapters.**

**A very funny thing I want to mention is that I wrote the part about the Chinese restaurant before "Fortune Cookie" premiered. Talk about irony. Heh heh... -_- Just to clarify to some people, the restaurant in this chapter is not the one from said episode. It's meant to be a bit more, "haut couture" if you get what I'm saying.**

**The second dream sequence is actually based on a really bad childhood dream I had. At least the parts about the checkered city and crumbling room. I remember it took me quite a while before I could easily sleep in the dark again. I don't know why, it just felt so realistic. I've always been a lucid dreamer, so these things have always interested me on how they worked. Lord knows how many times in recent days I've had dreams of spiders. And I _hate_ spiders...**

**Uhh... that's about it for now. The next chapter will probably be postponed due to me studying for finals ('Oy! I gots a life, ya know?) but it shouldn't be so deadly late as before.**

**As always, reviews will be very much appreciated. Until next time**

**- Mr. P.**


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